“Whether it was two days, or a month, or a longer time, that the cloud continued over the tabernacle, abiding there, the people of Israel remained in camp and did not set out, but when it lifted they set out.” (Numbers 9:22).

The people of Israel were led by God with a cloud by day and fire by night. They followed as the Lord led them. It wasn’t without a lot of complaining either. As I read through Numbers, I’m convicted of my own sin of complaining to the Lord and the frustration I have been causing those close to me.

A friend recently told me I needed to do what God has called me to. If I don’t those close to me will suffer from my not being obedient. I’m beginning to see what he was telling me six months ago.

I was visiting a young adult worship service back in the fall. It was an awesome time of worship and teaching. The message was on how to deal with depression. There were 10 points on the outline. Then Dave said, “Number 11, Do what the Lord is telling you to do.”

Have you ever been in a fog so thick you couldn’t drive? Life seems a bit like that right now for me. Sit tight until the fog lifts… And I complain, get angry, and make everyone else miserable.

After I read Numbers 9:22 tonight I began to think that maybe the cloud is not so bad afterall. Maybe life seems cloudy right now because Im not ready to move on. Whatever the reason for this season I embrace it and ask God to forgive me of my complaining.

“The call of God only becomes clear to us as we obey, never as we weigh the pros and cons and try to reason it out… When we hear the call of God it is not for us to dispute with God and arrange to obey him if he will expound the meaning of his call to us.” (Oswald Chambers Devotional Bible, “The Call of God”).

Does your life have what Oswald Chambers calls, “sacred and inexpressible charm about it that is satisfying to Jesus.”?

How does someone’s life bring about that kind of pleasure to Jesus? Chambers would say it is found in, “…continual willingness to “go out” in dependence upon God…”

I’m reading about that kind of faith lived out in the lives if so many found in the book of Genesis. Abraham and Sarah’s lives were a continual “‘go out’ in dependence on God.” I believe there are many people living today with broken dreams because they have chosen not to “go out.”

What keeps us from living in the potential of what God created us for? Why is it that some seem to serve the Lord with reckless abandon? While others shrink back in fear.

Fear is a gripping emotion that takes us into “watch out for myself” thinking. How often do we read in Scripture about someone being spoken to by an angel of the Lord and hear, “Do not be afraid…” Once we lock ourselves in on fear we will not hear anything else. We will not move… we will not walk in faith.

On New Years Eve I was playing a game with my son. He was sitting on the sofa and said, “Daddy when I grow up I want to be just like you.” I’ve thought about those words a lot since then. I’ve thought about our relationship and my desire for him to grow up knowing, loving, and serving Jesus.

I’ve realized these past couple of days that my desire for him is much like the desire Jesus has for me. To live and walk by faith… To “‘go out’ in dependence on God.”

Today as I look to my Heavenly Father I echo the words of my son to Him, “Daddy when I grow up I want to be just like You.”

2010 is here!!

It’s kind of weird saying it. I think this is one of the first years I’ve spent time actually listing out things I want to accomplish. I’ve done New Years Resolutions before… But for the start of this year I spent the past week praying, writing, and thinking about 2010.

What excites you the most about the New Year?

I like the idea of a new beginning. 2009 was a tough year in many ways. I’m praying and hoping this year will see a much brighter future.

How are you kicking off 2010?

I have begun reading through the Bible. The first plan I’m going to do this year is a 90 Day plan. You can find this plan at You Version

I’m praying for a great year and looking forward to talking about it here in 2010.

“My determined purpose is to be my utmost for His highest – my best for His glory.”

I got home from work and the smell of chili in the air was fantastic! My wife had taken the time to make a large pot of chili on the stove. I sat my computer down and grabbed a spoon so I could taste and see the chili as it continued to simmer.

I’m still reading in the first chapters of Psalms. I can’t seem to move beyond the depth of prayer that David experienced. I linger over Chapter 5 where David says to God,

“Every morning you’ll hear me at it again. Every morning I lay out the pieces of my life on your altar and watch for the fire to descend.” (5:2-3, The Message).

Skip down to verses 7-8, “And here I am, your invited guest – it’s incredible! I enter your house, here I am, prostrate in your inner sanctum, waiting for directions to get me through enemy lines.”

There is a depth of living in God’s presence that I want to experience. it seems like I don’t spend the time necessary to move beyond the surface of this life. I note in these words of David that God could count on him, “EVERY MORNING I lay out the pieces of my life…”

David had a time and he was consistent in going before the Lord. He was also patient as I read in verse 8, “Waiting for directions to get me safely through enemy lines.”

My prayer life so often is me running out the door, sipping my coffee, while racing to work. At least I have the every morning piece of this together. It’s strange that I expect to know how God wants me to navigate my life on this hap-hazard prayer time racing to work.

It’s time I throw away my microwaved prayers and learn to simmer in the Lord’s presence so that the fragrance can fill up the room… fill up my life so that others can say, “Hey, there is something about that guy.” That something being the love of Jesus.

We sat down for leftover chili the next evening and each bowl had been individually microwaved for the sake of time. As we sat down to eat we discovered not all the bowls had been heated thoroughly. The chili was only hot on the surface.

It’s time to move beyond the surface and dig deep into the presence of God every morning and to wait for his direction.

I am feeling desperate… I really want to get God’s attention. I want to know that He hears me when I pray. I want to understand Him more and to go deeper in His love and grace.

As I read Psalms in The Message, I see David’s unique way of communicating to God through praise and prayer. This morning I’m reading one of his prayers found in Psalm 17. He begins with, “Listen while I build my case, GOD, the most honest prayer you’ll ever hear.”

David does not lack confidence as he approaches his Heavenly Father. He was sure of himself and he was sure of the One he sought. He spoke directly to God, “Go ahead, examine me from the inside out, surprise me in the middle of the night – You’ll find I’m just what I say I am. My words don’t run loose.” (17:3).

In verse three, he is honest before God. There is not manipulation in his words to try and get his way. He lays his life out before God and asks for an examination. Much like how we do when we go to a doctor for a full physical on our physical health. We want the truth from the doctor and we hide nothing from them.

I have a strong desire to be used in God’s plan on this earth. I want to be available to be used by Him however He desires. Sometimes I seem to get lost in this pursuit. During the last several years I have been in pursuit of this but the circumstances of my life have thrown me a nasty curve ball I wasn’t looking for. I struck out. I was even hit by a pitch. Now I’m on deck warming up and I am starting to fear getting into the batters box.

“I’m staying on your trail; I’m putting one foot in front of the other. I’m not giving up.” (17:5).

David prays in verses 6-7, “I call to you, GOD, because I’m sure of an answer. So – answer! bend your ear! listen sharp! Paint grace-graffiti on the fences; take in your frightened children who are running from the neighborhood bullies straight to you.”

David sought God desperately to get away from the clutches of his enemies. He prayed what he wanted to see happen to those who came up against him. (17:10-14). He didn’t hold back and presented his circumstance to the Father.

Finally in 17:15, “And me? I plan on looking you full in the face. When I get up, I’ll see your full stature and live heaven on earth.” David knew victory would be his. He knew who he was and he knew his GOD… he trusted with all his heart. David didn’t give up or give in. He stayed hot on the trail seeking GOD.

Let’s do the same!!

This Christmas season I’ve decided to explore the book of Psalms. As I read, I hope to grasp a better understanding of God, His love, and that I will draw closer to Him.

Psalm 3 comes from a time when David was running for his life from his son Absolom.

Fear and anxiety are paralyzing emotions. They can grip your heart and and leave you naked, vulnerable, and utterly exposed.

I ran track and cross-country when I was younger. I recall being at a meet in Cedartown, GA. It was a very warm spring Saturday. I was running the two mile race. It was the only event I would be running that day. I recall being in the pack on one of the first few laps.

Racing through my mind was I’m not going to make it to the end of this race. I had sat out in the sun ALL day! I had let the elements of the day drain me so that at race time I didn’t have anything to give. on about the third lap I knew iwas not going to finish well. As I made my entry into the first turn I recall thinking I can fake an injury and get out of this race… Which means I will not have to face the humiliation of defeat… (I didn’t like to lose).

I stuck it out and finished the race. I didn’t do so good at the finish.

The moment I felt like there was no hope and that I should give up – something turned on inside of me. It’s strange and maybe you can relate to this voice that says, “Keep fighting and don’t give up!”

Instead of dwelling on the “thing” that the enemy uses to bring you down – dwell on the Son of God. Allow the thoughts to take you into His presence and tell Jesus what is on your heart. As you do, you will come to know God in much the same way as David. You will also be able to say,

“But you, GOD, shield me on all sides,
You ground my feet, you lift my head up high; With all my might I shout up to GOD, His answers thunder from the holy mountain.” (Psalm 3:3-4, The Message).

“Real help comes from GOD.
Your blessing clothes your people!” (Psalm 3:8, The Message).

I’ve started teaching my daughter to drive. It’s been a great experience and I have cherished every moment with her behind the wheel. I can tell with each day she sits down in the drivers seat she is gaining more confidence.

In Andy Stanley’s message, “Pray until the peace comes,” he asks, “What drives your prayers?” I answered, “Fear and worry.”

As my daughter got behind the wheel for the first time I know she was afraid. I’m not sure what she was most afraid of (the car, messing up, or how I might react to her messing up). Over several days she has gotten better with more and more confidence.

As I’ve observed and coached my daughter, I’ve thought about my own fears and how often I don’t allow God to coach and train me through my fears. I am not like my daughter learning to drive as I tend to grip the steering wheel of life too tightly, step on the gas too hard, and when it comes to braking – I haven’t quite managed how to delicately apply them. I’m getting concerned that maybe I’m frustrating God with my inability to overcome my fears.

“If you don’t know what you’re doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You’ll get his help, and want be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who ‘worry their prayers’ are like wind-whipped waves.” (James 1:5-7, The Message).

“…get serious, really serious. Get down on you knees before the Master; it’s the only way you’ll get on your feet,” (James 4:8b-9, The Message).

2009 has been a great year for me. It has also been a very difficult one. I know a week ago God began leading me to focus on prayer for the remainder of this year. A much different kind of prayer.

“The prayer of a person living right with God is something powerful to be reckoned with.” (James 5:16b, The Message).

The title of the talk I heard Andy Stanley give, “Pray until the peace comes” has become my personal theme for the rest of this year. I must let God in on what my deepest fears and desires are.

The words of Paul sum it up,

“Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers. Letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.” (Philippians 4:6-7, The Message).

I’m praying until the peace comes.

Day after day I pray, “God help me with this, give me this opportunity, help me do that.” My struggle is that I can’t seem to get past this prayer. Today’s My Utmost for His Highest shows me that I’m afraid of what Oswald Chambers calls becoming “frost bitten.”

My desire MUST be to please Jesus no matter what it costs or how frost bitten I may become. As a believer and follower of Jesus Christ, I should desire nothing less and nothing more than Jesus – his love.

This love from Jesus compels me to live within the realm of his purpose for life. “I must learn that the purpose of my life belongs to God, not me. God is using me from His great personal perspective, and all He asks of me is that I trust Him… He can crush me, exalt me, or do anything else He chooses. He simply asks me to have absolute faith in Him and His goodness. (My Utmost for His Highest, November 10).

I MUST trust and walk by faith.

I’m reading a lot these days. In the past 6 weeks I’ve read: A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller – Scouting the Divine by Margaret Feinberg – The Principle of the Path by Andy Stanley – and It by Craig Groeschel. I have also mixed in a bit of the Bible.

Putting all of this into one package equals WOW! I’m still in the midst of reading It and let me tell you it is challenging me to the core.

Donald Miller has shown me that I need to edit my life to write a better story. Because if I don’t I’m on a path that Andy Stanley has told me I’m on that has a destination. And when I look in my rear-view mirror I don’t like the wreckage that I see.

So, as I come to understand the path I’m on and that I’m in need if a better story for my life I realize that in the midst of it all that really at the center of it is God. Margaret Feinberg has given me the eyes to see I need to Scout the Divine in all things. (I have eaten honey all weekend… Get the book to know what I’m talking about).

Bring all of the things I’ve gained through Miller, Feinberg, and Stanley and wrap it all up with “It”. I know I’m on the right path for writing a better story. Because I know I have it and I have what it takes to make life around me better.

The Holy Spirit has spoken to me through Paul in 1 Thessalonians chapter 1, “God not only loves you very much but also has put his hand on you for something special.” (The Message)

Praise the Lord!

I hope that as you think about your life today I pray that others can say of you what Paul said of the Thessalonians in chapter 1, “The news of your faith in God is out. We don’t even have to say anything anymore – you’re the message.” (The Message).

So, what is it you are reading I must add to my library and life?

Let’s all live out that something special He has in mind for us!

Do you recall the scene from Toy Story 2 when Andy’s mom put Woody on the shelf? After Andy leaves the room the toys come out and one of them says, “Woody’s been shelved.”

Woody’s arm had been ripped while Andy was playing with him. So to keep him from further damage Andy’s mom shelved him. The cool thing about Woody is that he didn’t let his damage keep him down.

There was another toy that had been shelved too. After that toy gets put in a yard sale Woody didn’t let his own wound keep him from helping another toy in need.

At some time in life we all experience deep wounds and hurts. We can let them take our joy and our purpose or we can turn them into nuggets of hope for someone else.

I don’t believe God shelves any of us forever. I know for me I have had to sit on the shelf in order to allow the healing take place. I’m recharged and ready to go! I know I carry many scares but I pray they can each serve has a resource of hope to others.

“You can’t give up what God gives you.” A random comment from an elderly man I met at the hospital a couple of years ago.

“It is clear to us, friends, that God not only loves you very much but also has put his hand on you for something special. (1 Thessalonians 1:4, The Message).