“Whether it was two days, or a month, or a longer time, that the cloud continued over the tabernacle, abiding there, the people of Israel remained in camp and did not set out, but when it lifted they set out.” (Numbers 9:22).

The people of Israel were led by God with a cloud by day and fire by night. They followed as the Lord led them. It wasn’t without a lot of complaining either. As I read through Numbers, I’m convicted of my own sin of complaining to the Lord and the frustration I have been causing those close to me.

A friend recently told me I needed to do what God has called me to. If I don’t those close to me will suffer from my not being obedient. I’m beginning to see what he was telling me six months ago.

I was visiting a young adult worship service back in the fall. It was an awesome time of worship and teaching. The message was on how to deal with depression. There were 10 points on the outline. Then Dave said, “Number 11, Do what the Lord is telling you to do.”

Have you ever been in a fog so thick you couldn’t drive? Life seems a bit like that right now for me. Sit tight until the fog lifts… And I complain, get angry, and make everyone else miserable.

After I read Numbers 9:22 tonight I began to think that maybe the cloud is not so bad afterall. Maybe life seems cloudy right now because Im not ready to move on. Whatever the reason for this season I embrace it and ask God to forgive me of my complaining.

“The call of God only becomes clear to us as we obey, never as we weigh the pros and cons and try to reason it out… When we hear the call of God it is not for us to dispute with God and arrange to obey him if he will expound the meaning of his call to us.” (Oswald Chambers Devotional Bible, “The Call of God”).

I am feeling desperate… I really want to get God’s attention. I want to know that He hears me when I pray. I want to understand Him more and to go deeper in His love and grace.

As I read Psalms in The Message, I see David’s unique way of communicating to God through praise and prayer. This morning I’m reading one of his prayers found in Psalm 17. He begins with, “Listen while I build my case, GOD, the most honest prayer you’ll ever hear.”

David does not lack confidence as he approaches his Heavenly Father. He was sure of himself and he was sure of the One he sought. He spoke directly to God, “Go ahead, examine me from the inside out, surprise me in the middle of the night – You’ll find I’m just what I say I am. My words don’t run loose.” (17:3).

In verse three, he is honest before God. There is not manipulation in his words to try and get his way. He lays his life out before God and asks for an examination. Much like how we do when we go to a doctor for a full physical on our physical health. We want the truth from the doctor and we hide nothing from them.

I have a strong desire to be used in God’s plan on this earth. I want to be available to be used by Him however He desires. Sometimes I seem to get lost in this pursuit. During the last several years I have been in pursuit of this but the circumstances of my life have thrown me a nasty curve ball I wasn’t looking for. I struck out. I was even hit by a pitch. Now I’m on deck warming up and I am starting to fear getting into the batters box.

“I’m staying on your trail; I’m putting one foot in front of the other. I’m not giving up.” (17:5).

David prays in verses 6-7, “I call to you, GOD, because I’m sure of an answer. So – answer! bend your ear! listen sharp! Paint grace-graffiti on the fences; take in your frightened children who are running from the neighborhood bullies straight to you.”

David sought God desperately to get away from the clutches of his enemies. He prayed what he wanted to see happen to those who came up against him. (17:10-14). He didn’t hold back and presented his circumstance to the Father.

Finally in 17:15, “And me? I plan on looking you full in the face. When I get up, I’ll see your full stature and live heaven on earth.” David knew victory would be his. He knew who he was and he knew his GOD… he trusted with all his heart. David didn’t give up or give in. He stayed hot on the trail seeking GOD.

Let’s do the same!!

Day after day I pray, “God help me with this, give me this opportunity, help me do that.” My struggle is that I can’t seem to get past this prayer. Today’s My Utmost for His Highest shows me that I’m afraid of what Oswald Chambers calls becoming “frost bitten.”

My desire MUST be to please Jesus no matter what it costs or how frost bitten I may become. As a believer and follower of Jesus Christ, I should desire nothing less and nothing more than Jesus – his love.

This love from Jesus compels me to live within the realm of his purpose for life. “I must learn that the purpose of my life belongs to God, not me. God is using me from His great personal perspective, and all He asks of me is that I trust Him… He can crush me, exalt me, or do anything else He chooses. He simply asks me to have absolute faith in Him and His goodness. (My Utmost for His Highest, November 10).

I MUST trust and walk by faith.

I’m reading a lot these days. In the past 6 weeks I’ve read: A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller – Scouting the Divine by Margaret Feinberg – The Principle of the Path by Andy Stanley – and It by Craig Groeschel. I have also mixed in a bit of the Bible.

Putting all of this into one package equals WOW! I’m still in the midst of reading It and let me tell you it is challenging me to the core.

Donald Miller has shown me that I need to edit my life to write a better story. Because if I don’t I’m on a path that Andy Stanley has told me I’m on that has a destination. And when I look in my rear-view mirror I don’t like the wreckage that I see.

So, as I come to understand the path I’m on and that I’m in need if a better story for my life I realize that in the midst of it all that really at the center of it is God. Margaret Feinberg has given me the eyes to see I need to Scout the Divine in all things. (I have eaten honey all weekend… Get the book to know what I’m talking about).

Bring all of the things I’ve gained through Miller, Feinberg, and Stanley and wrap it all up with “It”. I know I’m on the right path for writing a better story. Because I know I have it and I have what it takes to make life around me better.

The Holy Spirit has spoken to me through Paul in 1 Thessalonians chapter 1, “God not only loves you very much but also has put his hand on you for something special.” (The Message)

Praise the Lord!

I hope that as you think about your life today I pray that others can say of you what Paul said of the Thessalonians in chapter 1, “The news of your faith in God is out. We don’t even have to say anything anymore – you’re the message.” (The Message).

So, what is it you are reading I must add to my library and life?

Let’s all live out that something special He has in mind for us!

Do you recall the scene from Toy Story 2 when Andy’s mom put Woody on the shelf? After Andy leaves the room the toys come out and one of them says, “Woody’s been shelved.”

Woody’s arm had been ripped while Andy was playing with him. So to keep him from further damage Andy’s mom shelved him. The cool thing about Woody is that he didn’t let his damage keep him down.

There was another toy that had been shelved too. After that toy gets put in a yard sale Woody didn’t let his own wound keep him from helping another toy in need.

At some time in life we all experience deep wounds and hurts. We can let them take our joy and our purpose or we can turn them into nuggets of hope for someone else.

I don’t believe God shelves any of us forever. I know for me I have had to sit on the shelf in order to allow the healing take place. I’m recharged and ready to go! I know I carry many scares but I pray they can each serve has a resource of hope to others.

“You can’t give up what God gives you.” A random comment from an elderly man I met at the hospital a couple of years ago.

“It is clear to us, friends, that God not only loves you very much but also has put his hand on you for something special. (1 Thessalonians 1:4, The Message).

…depended on me?

On October 25, I will be sitting down with the students of Tapestry Church. The goal of our conversation will be to begin the dialogue of what the mission of this ministry is all about. As I’ve prayed and listened the following questions came to mind:

1. What if the world depended on ME to hear the Gospel?
2. How did the first disciples feel when Jesus ascended into heaven and were left with the task to spread the Good News?
3. What if the Tapestry Student ministry were the only one in town – what would we do to reach this generation?

Go back to my first question. How do you answer it?

Luke 24:45-49 in The Message reads:

45-49He went on to open their understanding of the Word of God, showing them how to read their Bibles this way. He said, “You can see now how it is written that the Messiah suffers, rises from the dead on the third day, and then a total life-change through the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed in his name to all nations—starting from here, from Jerusalem! You’re the first to hear and see it. You’re the witnesses. What comes next is very important: I am sending what my Father promised to you, so stay here in the city until he arrives, until you’re equipped with power from on high.”

Have you waited… Has the power of the wind passed you by… Have you been filled with the Holy Spirit?

We have been chosen to be God’s instruments to show the way to a complete life… A life in Jesus Christ.

Can the world look to you?

Have you ever ridden the log ride at Six Flags or at some other park? 

Lately my life has seemed much like I am riding a log ride (just not as fun).  My life is in motion bumping up against the parameters (or shall I say the principles) of life.  All the while, I know there is a destination out there that I will arrive at.  As Oswald Chambers puts it, I’m living my life based on principles rather than vision.

There is a difference between holding on to a principle and having a vision. A principle does not come from moral inspiration, but a vision does.

Our own idealistic principles may actually lull us into ruin. Examine yourself spiritually to see if you have vision, or only principles. (My Utmost for His Highest, May 9).

How do you live your life?  Do you get up everyday and hop onto the log ride of the expected routine in life or do you live it a bit more dangerously with a spiritual vision?  I know it seems like I have settled into the log ride and today am being challenged to get off of the ride and jump into a raft and conquor an uncharted river.  The Holy Spirit will be the guide and he will provide the vision.

Many years ago I went white water rafting on the Ocoee River in Tennessee.  I was nervous and stressed the entire time.  The water was freezing, the rapids were rough, and I had to trust the guide.  At times, I even got angry with the guide because I thought he was intentionally sending us through rougher water when it wasn’t necessary.

I realize in life I do the same thing.  At times, I get upset and angry with where this course is taking me.  I want to point a finger at the Holy Spirit and say, “Why didn’t you tell me to dig earlier?”  I’m quick to forget that He is teaching me as I go.  He allows the rough waters in my life and I need to learn from them. 

I have come to know when He is telling me to do something.  I have learned His voice.  But I haven’t overcome my fear of taking risks in following Him.  I like the log ride.  I know what I will experience in the log.  As for the the raft, there’s a risk and I will have to trust the Guide.

Have you lost the excitement for living?  Your job? Ministry? Family?  Read Proverbs 29:18,

  If people can’t see what God is doing,
   they stumble all over themselves;
But when they attend to what he reveals,
   they are most blessed. (The Message)

I know the following quote is from a message on marriage.  But it is applicable to any aspect of life that pertains to personal passion.  Job. Family. Ministry.  Whatever!  We all get involved in doing something based on how it makes us feel but to keep it going and alive there must be a plan… a vision.  It’s the plan that will keep you moving forward.

“Falling in love requires a pulse, staying in love requires a plan.” (Andy Stanley).

Are you following the vision for your life?  Or have you decided to remain comfortable with where you are?

This morning I told the Lord I would love to just sit down with Him face to face and have a conversation with Him.  A conversation about the inner struggles I have that revolve around my hopes, dreams, and desires for life.  The next thought that raced into my mind was, “You are having that conversation now – faith to face.” 

I have had this ”faith to face” thought  all day.  Way too often I want to skip right on past faith and get down to the things in life that are certain.  Look at Jesus directly and hear him speak to me directly.  Skip right past the uncertainty in following Jesus and live in a confidence that I am pleasing Him.

Well, no sooner than I finished praying I picked up Oswald Chambers just to get smacked around one more time by OC.  When will I ever learn? (At least I know my prayer life is right on target with how God is speaking to me).

The nature of the spiritual life is that we are certain in our uncertainty… Certainty is the mark of the commonsense life— gracious uncertainty is the mark of the spiritual life. To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, not knowing what tomorrow may bring. (My Utmost for His Highest, April 29).

With the thoughts of Oswald Chambers lingering in my mind I took a chance and began reading some more of Erwin McManus’ book Wide Awake.  I’m still only able to read this book in small bites…  This is a book that is challenging me to the very core.  Today I finished the chapter “Create”. 

It’s significant that the master didn’t tell the servants what to do when he instructed them to do something with what he gave them.  When they multiplied it, he didn’t quiz them on how they did it.  He just said, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.”  If you are maximizing your capacity, you’re on the way to living your life to the fullest.  To do this, you must not only take responsibility but also risk.  Why did the third servant bury his bag of gold?  He was afraid of his master; he feared he would lose his gold and then be punished.  (174-175).

If you are maximizing your capacity… 

I feel as though I’m not living life to the fullest!  Why? I’m not maximizing my capacity.   I desire to live life beyond the level I am living it right now.  I want to live in breathless expectation of seeing Jesus – yet, do I take time to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, give shelter to the homeless… if I want to see Jesus I must look deeper into the face of humanity and see Him in those I serve.  Am I positioning myself to maximize my capacity?  Or have I positioned myself in a place where my life is so full of other stuff there’s no more room for anything else?

Finally, I’m following Pete Wilson’s blog and Twitter as he maximizes his capacity in India on a mission trip.  If you are not checking in on his updates (or now about Pete), I encourage you to check out what God is doing while he and his team are there.  I have a local pastor-friend who just returned from India as well.  Take a few moments to read how he has been maximizing his capacity.

How do you maximize your capacity?

Everyday that we live - each of us have opportunities that come before us to help us grow.  It is what we do with those opportunities that determine to what extent we will be developed.  Do you embrace the challenges and with the fear of the LORD move forward?  Or do you worry and fear the barrier?  As I finished up reading Joshua this weekend, I saw a man who took the most of his opportunity to grow and be developed.  He had a tremendous job taking Israel into the Promised Land and establishing her boundaries.

I wonder how he felt at the moment he knew what his task was going to be?  I wonder if he ever worried or feared the job before him.  Joshua stayed true to God’s leading.  Joshua ends with this challenge to the people of Israel,

“Now fear the LORD and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your forefathers worshiped beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the LORD. But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.” (Joshua 24:14-15, New International Version).

I suspect Joshua’s fear of the LORD far out-weighed the fear of the task before him.  Joshua lived with a proper perspective of his life and his service to the LORD.

If you will remain true to God, God will lead you directly through every barrier and right into the inner chamber of the knowledge of Himself. But you must always be willing to come to the point of giving up your own convictions and traditional beliefs. Don’t ask God to test you. Never declare as Peter did that you are willing to do anything, even “to go . . . both to prison and to death” ( Luke 22:33  ). Abraham did not make any such statement— he simply remained true to God, and God purified his faith.  (Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, April 26).

What is the barrier in your life? 

Whatever the barrier hold fast to the truth you have gained from God.  Fear the LORD way more than the barrier.  Keep your eyes on Jesus – pray without ceasing and allow His Spirit to fully develop you to be the person you are created to be.

Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am. (Philippians 4:13, The Message).

…too many thoughts running through my head tonight (1:00 AM) to sleep.  While reading Wide Awake today there are several quotes I would like to bring to your attention:

• Talent you don’t use is talent you have abused.  To waste what God has put in you is a dishonor to God and a disservice to humanity.
• …your life is God’s gift to you and to the world.
• The choices you make today create the future you live tomorrow. (Erwin McManus, 172).

I don’t know about you but I’ve never been one to look at myself in such a way to think that I am a gift to the world.  But the truth is God created all of as a gift to each other.  Each one of us has a gift and/or a talent within us to give to others.  The unfortunate thing is that most of us don’t realize that until it’s too late.  Or we have made choices that dictate our future. 

When I think about it like that – I wonder how many people miss out on knowing about Jesus because too many of us have never realized the potential within. 

Some never have the opportunity to realize their true potential because their spirits have been crushed.

Parents, don’t come down too hard on your children or you’ll crush their spirits.  (Colossians 3:21, The Message).

This is a message to parents:  I know this has been said before, “Our children are the future.”  That statement is true.  But if as parents we do not nurture them and build them up in Christ we will lose the next generation of leaders.  Leadership begins with us (parents)!  Do you want to be a leader?  Then take the responsibility to raise your children to love the Lord with all their hearts.  Encourage the creativity within them!

Maybe you are doing the job God has called you to in raising your children.  I want to say… Great job!!  Keep it up and look around.  I bet one of your children has a friend whose Mom or Dad is crushing their child’s spirit.  We need to have the eyes to see who it is we can reach out to with real love – the love of Jesus Christ… these children need our love.

As parents, we need to pick our battles wisely with our children.  We have a responsibility to see that they live in an environment that gives them the tools to make wise choices so that their future is without limit.

Are you with me on this?