I am feeling desperate… I really want to get God’s attention. I want to know that He hears me when I pray. I want to understand Him more and to go deeper in His love and grace.

As I read Psalms in The Message, I see David’s unique way of communicating to God through praise and prayer. This morning I’m reading one of his prayers found in Psalm 17. He begins with, “Listen while I build my case, GOD, the most honest prayer you’ll ever hear.”

David does not lack confidence as he approaches his Heavenly Father. He was sure of himself and he was sure of the One he sought. He spoke directly to God, “Go ahead, examine me from the inside out, surprise me in the middle of the night – You’ll find I’m just what I say I am. My words don’t run loose.” (17:3).

In verse three, he is honest before God. There is not manipulation in his words to try and get his way. He lays his life out before God and asks for an examination. Much like how we do when we go to a doctor for a full physical on our physical health. We want the truth from the doctor and we hide nothing from them.

I have a strong desire to be used in God’s plan on this earth. I want to be available to be used by Him however He desires. Sometimes I seem to get lost in this pursuit. During the last several years I have been in pursuit of this but the circumstances of my life have thrown me a nasty curve ball I wasn’t looking for. I struck out. I was even hit by a pitch. Now I’m on deck warming up and I am starting to fear getting into the batters box.

“I’m staying on your trail; I’m putting one foot in front of the other. I’m not giving up.” (17:5).

David prays in verses 6-7, “I call to you, GOD, because I’m sure of an answer. So – answer! bend your ear! listen sharp! Paint grace-graffiti on the fences; take in your frightened children who are running from the neighborhood bullies straight to you.”

David sought God desperately to get away from the clutches of his enemies. He prayed what he wanted to see happen to those who came up against him. (17:10-14). He didn’t hold back and presented his circumstance to the Father.

Finally in 17:15, “And me? I plan on looking you full in the face. When I get up, I’ll see your full stature and live heaven on earth.” David knew victory would be his. He knew who he was and he knew his GOD… he trusted with all his heart. David didn’t give up or give in. He stayed hot on the trail seeking GOD.

Let’s do the same!!

I’ve started teaching my daughter to drive. It’s been a great experience and I have cherished every moment with her behind the wheel. I can tell with each day she sits down in the drivers seat she is gaining more confidence.

In Andy Stanley’s message, “Pray until the peace comes,” he asks, “What drives your prayers?” I answered, “Fear and worry.”

As my daughter got behind the wheel for the first time I know she was afraid. I’m not sure what she was most afraid of (the car, messing up, or how I might react to her messing up). Over several days she has gotten better with more and more confidence.

As I’ve observed and coached my daughter, I’ve thought about my own fears and how often I don’t allow God to coach and train me through my fears. I am not like my daughter learning to drive as I tend to grip the steering wheel of life too tightly, step on the gas too hard, and when it comes to braking – I haven’t quite managed how to delicately apply them. I’m getting concerned that maybe I’m frustrating God with my inability to overcome my fears.

“If you don’t know what you’re doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You’ll get his help, and want be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who ‘worry their prayers’ are like wind-whipped waves.” (James 1:5-7, The Message).

“…get serious, really serious. Get down on you knees before the Master; it’s the only way you’ll get on your feet,” (James 4:8b-9, The Message).

2009 has been a great year for me. It has also been a very difficult one. I know a week ago God began leading me to focus on prayer for the remainder of this year. A much different kind of prayer.

“The prayer of a person living right with God is something powerful to be reckoned with.” (James 5:16b, The Message).

The title of the talk I heard Andy Stanley give, “Pray until the peace comes” has become my personal theme for the rest of this year. I must let God in on what my deepest fears and desires are.

The words of Paul sum it up,

“Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers. Letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.” (Philippians 4:6-7, The Message).

I’m praying until the peace comes.

Do you recall the scene from Toy Story 2 when Andy’s mom put Woody on the shelf? After Andy leaves the room the toys come out and one of them says, “Woody’s been shelved.”

Woody’s arm had been ripped while Andy was playing with him. So to keep him from further damage Andy’s mom shelved him. The cool thing about Woody is that he didn’t let his damage keep him down.

There was another toy that had been shelved too. After that toy gets put in a yard sale Woody didn’t let his own wound keep him from helping another toy in need.

At some time in life we all experience deep wounds and hurts. We can let them take our joy and our purpose or we can turn them into nuggets of hope for someone else.

I don’t believe God shelves any of us forever. I know for me I have had to sit on the shelf in order to allow the healing take place. I’m recharged and ready to go! I know I carry many scares but I pray they can each serve has a resource of hope to others.

“You can’t give up what God gives you.” A random comment from an elderly man I met at the hospital a couple of years ago.

“It is clear to us, friends, that God not only loves you very much but also has put his hand on you for something special. (1 Thessalonians 1:4, The Message).

…depended on me?

On October 25, I will be sitting down with the students of Tapestry Church. The goal of our conversation will be to begin the dialogue of what the mission of this ministry is all about. As I’ve prayed and listened the following questions came to mind:

1. What if the world depended on ME to hear the Gospel?
2. How did the first disciples feel when Jesus ascended into heaven and were left with the task to spread the Good News?
3. What if the Tapestry Student ministry were the only one in town – what would we do to reach this generation?

Go back to my first question. How do you answer it?

Luke 24:45-49 in The Message reads:

45-49He went on to open their understanding of the Word of God, showing them how to read their Bibles this way. He said, “You can see now how it is written that the Messiah suffers, rises from the dead on the third day, and then a total life-change through the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed in his name to all nations—starting from here, from Jerusalem! You’re the first to hear and see it. You’re the witnesses. What comes next is very important: I am sending what my Father promised to you, so stay here in the city until he arrives, until you’re equipped with power from on high.”

Have you waited… Has the power of the wind passed you by… Have you been filled with the Holy Spirit?

We have been chosen to be God’s instruments to show the way to a complete life… A life in Jesus Christ.

Can the world look to you?

I discovered last night as I wrote a portion of my story out for a brother of mine (God has blessed me with in recent weeks) that my story is really no different than his. He sent me a reply sharing a chapter of his with me. The cool thing about our stories is that there is one key character in both.

I discovered just like my friend that our lives have been written with an end in mind. Without this central figure in our lives our story would lack meaning, hope, and victory.

One of the greatest honors in life is to be able to share my story with someone else. I was given that opportunity today. I’m not talking about sharing the laundry list of my problems or the particulars of my failures. But rather the part where I found hope to live another day. My story is one of brokenness that has been changed by grace and love.

The story I have to tell is not really mine… It’s really the story of Jesus that has been written out in the pages of my own life. Jesus – he is the writer and now I’m a charcter in his play. He is the one who has the power to make all things new… To make me a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17).

Who is the main character in your story? Is it you? Is it your hurt, brokenness, and despair? Or is it Jesus?

If the main character is anything but Jesus, I ask you to take a moment and begin reading in the Bible. Read Matthew and ask Jesus to show himself to you.

He loves you and deeply cares about how your story ends.

Last weekend I was hanging out with friends at their home. It was overcast most of the day. I like dark and dreary days… I love rainy days even more!

My son was alarmed by the sky and afraid it was going to rain. He wanted to swim and didn’t want his fun in the pool spoiled with bad weather. He looked at me and said, “I’m going to pray that it doesn’t rain.” I smiled and said, “You do that buddy and I’m going to pray that it rains.”

Well, it wasn’t much longer before the rain began. He was in the house at the time it started. He came outside and said, “Why did you win?” I could see the disappointment on his face and hear it in the tone of his voice.

My response to him was: “Turn around and look up at the sky. God is giving you right now the blue sky you have asked for. You see, God has answered both of our prayers today. He loves us both and desires to give us both the desires of our hearts.”

I love my son! He is 7 years old. As his Dad I want to give him everything his little heart desires. But more than the stuff he wants to play with I want to give him Jesus. I want to make the most of every opportunity so he can grow strong in his faith, understanding of God, and the love God has for him. He is learning to seek God in all things. At 7 years of age, I’m excited to see him learn to pray. I know God has great plans for him…

God has great plans for all of us. When life all around is looking dark and dreary… When the rains begin to fall… Don’t give up hope! Cling to these words found in the Bible,

“Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. Give your attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes” (Matthew 6:33-34, The Message).

Last night was the last open house before school starts.  All of my children have been excited to find out which teachers they have, to see schedules, and to reunite friendships that took a break with the summer.  It was a big night for us all with lots of high hopes and great expectations for a great school year.

As I walked the hallways, I began to see something that troubled my heart and thoughts.  In fact, what I saw made me very sad.  It bothered me all last night and continues to haunt my thoughts today.  As I turned each corner of the school, I was concerned about the amount of hurt and disappointment that was walking the halls with me.  I saw numerous families that live in brokenness brought on by divorce.  My life is not different – and it really bothered me last night.  I came home and wrote in my journal about all of the hurts I was personally experiencing then moved on to ask the question, “I wonder how my kids were feeling?”

A friend of mine had  a baby that died as a newborn about 20 years ago.  I recall talking with him on the phone about it.  At the time, I was living over 800 miles away.  But in the moment I had a tremendous case of insensitivity.  I told him that one day God would use this tragedy to help someone else.  True… but oh how I wish I could take those words back – timing is everything!

I’ve been told that on numerous occassions that I will be able to help others going through divorce or dealing with the effects of divorce.  I understand the encouragement that has been extended with those words… (Sometimes God’s people should be seen and not heard)  The problem I see with this sort of counsel is that my kids are put on the altar as a sacrifice to help someone else.  I don’t really believe that is God’s plan.  Yet, I can see how God can use my life today to help others.

Within me is a well full of sorrow and pain brought on by divorce.  I’m thankful God has filled it with His love, grace, and compassion for others who have or will walk my same road.  How I wish I could counsel couple to work it out no matter what… I also know that in some cases working it out is not an option.

So, as we begin another school year filled with so much excitement – let’s not forget those children who are dealing with the disappointments in life brought on by selfish parents.  The losers are the children.  Those of us who can help need to stand in the gap for them.

What can you do? Become a mentor.  Volunteer at your church with children or youth.  Begin praying daily for specific children.  Select a school and prayer walk each week for the children and for the teachers.  There are many options to get involved.  Seek God as to how you can join Him in healing hearts… Start today!

I’m having a beautiful moment with the Lord. I’ve wondered if this is one of those moments I should keep to myself or not. Obviously, I’ve decided to share a bit of it.

I’m worlds apart from the person I am to the person I dream of becoming. I wake everyday hoping that today I become more like the man I have entrusted every bit of hope I have… The man is Jesus Christ.

The lyrics of Worlds Apart by Jars of Clay are more beautiful than anything I could ever write on my own:

I pray… “To rid myself of all but love, to give and die… Take my world apart – I am on my knees – take my world apart – broken on my knees… All I am for all you are because what I need and what I believe are worlds apart.” (Jars of Clay).

I pray God takes my world apart and uses me for His glory. I ask him to use the breath He has given me to glorify Himself however he chooses.

I’m understanding today a little bit about obedience thanks to the leadership of the Holy Spirit. I am am rejoicing today with the words of David found in 2 Samuel 22:21-25,

“God made my life complete when I placed all the pieces before him. When I cleaned up my act, he gave me a fresh start. Indeed, I’ve kept alert to God’s ways; I haven’t taken God for granted. Every day I review the ways he works, I try not to miss a trick. I feel put back together, and I’m watching my step. God rewrote the text of my life when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes.”

God take my world apart and let me change the world for your glory…

It’s been too long since I have posted anything here! Way too long! I’ve made the decision for awhile to not have cable or internet. It’s my hope that we will see some help with our finances as a result.

So, I figured tonight I would see how difficult it would be to post something from my BlackBerry… This may be another way to cut back too! Who knows?

Hope. Where does your hope come from? Is your hope centered on the external things of life? Or is your hope found on something that is much deeper?

I have hope that comes from within. This hope does not come from me… It is a hope that only comes from faith in Jesus. He gives me hope when life all around appears hopeless. He gives me hope when I don’t feel like there is any hope to be found.

This kind of hope comes from the Cross and what Jesus paid for all of humanity. Jesus is our only hope. He gives hope that can change the world…

I never get tired of saying, “Oswald Chambers strikes again!”  Day after day and year after year of reading My Utmost for His Highest never gets old.  Each year that I read it – it’s as if I am reading it for the first time.  It may be because I didn’t “get it” the year before or there is always something new in me that needs a bit of work.  Honestly, it’s a little of both.

Saturday I received a letter from a former student heading to the Czech Republic this summer to be His hands and His feet.  I am so excited and proud of her!  I hear great things all of the time from that group of teens that were in my first youth ministry out of seminary.  Every time I hear another great report about one of them it makes me miss those days from the mid 90’s in New Mexico all the more.  I miss the teens and I miss that season in my life.

I seem to always use that season of my life as the plumb line for everything else.  I know that I shouldn’t.  But for whatever reason I continually look back and wish God used me now like He did then.  Has he changed? No.  So, what happened?  I guess my own personal fears have taken over and overcome my fear of the LORD.

Have I really placed my personal fears before my fear of the LORD?  Paul told Timothy, “Be ready in season and out of season.”  I’m personally torn right now within my life.  Too many times I get afraid of making the wrong choice – again.  I don’t want to make anymore mistakes or to get myself out on a limb to find myself falling back to the ground once again… broken, hurt, or embarrassed that the dream is not to be.  I’m starting to see myself as the one who buried his talent in the sand.

Oh the dreaded words, “If I could only go back…”

This is a new day – with new opportunities.  One thing from the past I must put on everyday is my total reliance on Jesus Christ.  I’ll never forget my first day “on the job’ at FBC.  That walk from my car up the sidewalk to the door of the church seems so long in my memory – when it was probably only 20 steps.  Yet, the whisper I spoke to Jesus I will never forget, “This is all you – I have no idea what awaits me on the other side of this door.”  The fear of the LORD far outweighed my own personal fears that were on the other side of that door.

The fear that I feel today is the result of a much different set of circumstances.  Despite the fear I have today – I wish, hope, and daydream of moments like what I had back then.  I was living “in season” then – preaching the Word the best I knew how – with my life, love, and friendship that God gave me to give.  I’m not serving on staff like that now and I think of doing that again some day.  I do know God wants me to be faithful with the life I have been given in this day that I live.  I’m reminded that no matter where I am in life  – it’s always the season to serve the Lord – to be His hands and his feet.

This is the thought from Saturday’s My Utmost for His Highest that go my wheels to turning on this subject.

If you say you will only be at your best for God, as during those exceptional times, you actually become an intolerable burden on Him. You will never do anything unless God keeps you consciously aware of His inspiration to you at all times. If you make a god out of your best moments, you will find that God will fade out of your life, never to return until you are obedient in the work He has placed closest to you, and until you have learned not to be obsessed with those exceptional moments He has given you. (April 25).

No matter where you find yourself today – this is the season for you to shine with whatever God has given you.  Make the most of every opportunity and life like there is no tomorrow.  Somebody else needs you to live your life the way God has called you to today - be available no matter how you feel – You’ve got a story to tell!