Has God spoken to you? Has God revealed Himself to you through His Word, in prayer, a sermon, a friend, or a moment of being quiet before Him?  What has He told you?  When He spoke did you immediately walk into the light of His revelation? Or did a season of darkness sweep into your life?

I’ve found in my life when God speaks there is often a time of darkness that follows… A time of testing and trial… A season of waiting.

When God gives you a vision and darkness follows, wait. God will bring the vision He has given you to reality in your life if you will wait on His timing. Never try to help God fulfill His word. (Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, January 19).

How do you handle those dark moments when silence is all your hear?  Jesus tells us in Matthew 6:33, “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all of these things will be given to you as well” (NIV). 

“Be still and know I am God.” Psalm 46:10.

What do you do when your dreams aren’t turning out the way you expected?  Do you give up? Do you ignore your dream(s)? Do you continue waiting like the Israelites did whining and complaining? Or maybe you are like me and go through seasons of depression, times of complaining, moments of bitterness, and times of intense growth in Scripture and prayer.  I’ve experienced all of it.  I wish I could say I have been more spiritual than the rest of my list.

Maybe you are a lot like me and you have experienced the highs and lows of waiting.  The one thing I am so glad I can say is that I haven’t given up.  I haven’t quit pressing on and looking to God for strength and wisdom. Despite my resolve to finish this race strong, I have gone through moments of whining and complaining the past several years.  I told one friend recently that it is time for a change… just to hear him say, “That’s what your baby will be crying for after she is born. (Due in September).

Waiting is an interesting activity.  There are times of waiting and being still before the Lord.  And at the other extreme there are those times where it is necessary to break down some walls and get busy… put your hands to the plow and work.  During this season of waiting I’ve done a little of both.  But each time I begin to get busy I keep hearing this voice say, “This isn’t it.”  I heard those all familiar words at the first of this year. It was once again very frustrating for me.  What did I do?  I obeyed what I believed the Holy Spirit was telling me to do.  I totally backed off and stopped volunteering what I was doing at a particular church.

I haven’t arrived at where I desire and believe I will be one day…  I have a lot of hopes and dreams…  But I do believe I am exactly where I am supposed to be.  I’m taking in everything I can as I continue to wait and seek the Lord. 

The following message by Brian Bloye, “When Life Makes You Wait.”  Has been one of those moments where God has affirmed His presence in my life.  This message really inspired me.  I hope it will you too.

There is a calling that comes from the Father. Each person is called and those who choose to follow Jesus have a mission to accomplish with the gifts given by the Holy Spirit. Obedience to Jesus – his call is all that matters… Not what others may say.

In the later chapters of Acts Paul is repeatedly told by other Christians not to go to Jerusalem. Paul’s response,

“What matters most to me is to finish what God started: the job the Master Jesus gave me of letting everyone I meet know all about this incredibly extravagant generosity of God.” (Acts 20:24, The Message).

What is it you are destined to finish in Jesus Name? Work at it with all your heart. Give God your best effort – the Holy Spirit will empower you and others will hear His message.

Has something or someone hindered your efforts? Has that circumstance told you, “You can’t do that.”? Give to Jesus whatever or whomever has stepped into your life to disqualify you.

Make these words of Paul your words, “What matters most to me is to finish what God started…”

“Whether it was two days, or a month, or a longer time, that the cloud continued over the tabernacle, abiding there, the people of Israel remained in camp and did not set out, but when it lifted they set out.” (Numbers 9:22).

The people of Israel were led by God with a cloud by day and fire by night. They followed as the Lord led them. It wasn’t without a lot of complaining either. As I read through Numbers, I’m convicted of my own sin of complaining to the Lord and the frustration I have been causing those close to me.

A friend recently told me I needed to do what God has called me to. If I don’t those close to me will suffer from my not being obedient. I’m beginning to see what he was telling me six months ago.

I was visiting a young adult worship service back in the fall. It was an awesome time of worship and teaching. The message was on how to deal with depression. There were 10 points on the outline. Then Dave said, “Number 11, Do what the Lord is telling you to do.”

Have you ever been in a fog so thick you couldn’t drive? Life seems a bit like that right now for me. Sit tight until the fog lifts… And I complain, get angry, and make everyone else miserable.

After I read Numbers 9:22 tonight I began to think that maybe the cloud is not so bad afterall. Maybe life seems cloudy right now because Im not ready to move on. Whatever the reason for this season I embrace it and ask God to forgive me of my complaining.

“The call of God only becomes clear to us as we obey, never as we weigh the pros and cons and try to reason it out… When we hear the call of God it is not for us to dispute with God and arrange to obey him if he will expound the meaning of his call to us.” (Oswald Chambers Devotional Bible, “The Call of God”).

I’m reading a lot these days. In the past 6 weeks I’ve read: A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller – Scouting the Divine by Margaret Feinberg – The Principle of the Path by Andy Stanley – and It by Craig Groeschel. I have also mixed in a bit of the Bible.

Putting all of this into one package equals WOW! I’m still in the midst of reading It and let me tell you it is challenging me to the core.

Donald Miller has shown me that I need to edit my life to write a better story. Because if I don’t I’m on a path that Andy Stanley has told me I’m on that has a destination. And when I look in my rear-view mirror I don’t like the wreckage that I see.

So, as I come to understand the path I’m on and that I’m in need if a better story for my life I realize that in the midst of it all that really at the center of it is God. Margaret Feinberg has given me the eyes to see I need to Scout the Divine in all things. (I have eaten honey all weekend… Get the book to know what I’m talking about).

Bring all of the things I’ve gained through Miller, Feinberg, and Stanley and wrap it all up with “It”. I know I’m on the right path for writing a better story. Because I know I have it and I have what it takes to make life around me better.

The Holy Spirit has spoken to me through Paul in 1 Thessalonians chapter 1, “God not only loves you very much but also has put his hand on you for something special.” (The Message)

Praise the Lord!

I hope that as you think about your life today I pray that others can say of you what Paul said of the Thessalonians in chapter 1, “The news of your faith in God is out. We don’t even have to say anything anymore – you’re the message.” (The Message).

So, what is it you are reading I must add to my library and life?

Let’s all live out that something special He has in mind for us!

Do you recall the scene from Toy Story 2 when Andy’s mom put Woody on the shelf? After Andy leaves the room the toys come out and one of them says, “Woody’s been shelved.”

Woody’s arm had been ripped while Andy was playing with him. So to keep him from further damage Andy’s mom shelved him. The cool thing about Woody is that he didn’t let his damage keep him down.

There was another toy that had been shelved too. After that toy gets put in a yard sale Woody didn’t let his own wound keep him from helping another toy in need.

At some time in life we all experience deep wounds and hurts. We can let them take our joy and our purpose or we can turn them into nuggets of hope for someone else.

I don’t believe God shelves any of us forever. I know for me I have had to sit on the shelf in order to allow the healing take place. I’m recharged and ready to go! I know I carry many scares but I pray they can each serve has a resource of hope to others.

“You can’t give up what God gives you.” A random comment from an elderly man I met at the hospital a couple of years ago.

“It is clear to us, friends, that God not only loves you very much but also has put his hand on you for something special. (1 Thessalonians 1:4, The Message).

I’m having a beautiful moment with the Lord. I’ve wondered if this is one of those moments I should keep to myself or not. Obviously, I’ve decided to share a bit of it.

I’m worlds apart from the person I am to the person I dream of becoming. I wake everyday hoping that today I become more like the man I have entrusted every bit of hope I have… The man is Jesus Christ.

The lyrics of Worlds Apart by Jars of Clay are more beautiful than anything I could ever write on my own:

I pray… “To rid myself of all but love, to give and die… Take my world apart – I am on my knees – take my world apart – broken on my knees… All I am for all you are because what I need and what I believe are worlds apart.” (Jars of Clay).

I pray God takes my world apart and uses me for His glory. I ask him to use the breath He has given me to glorify Himself however he chooses.

I’m understanding today a little bit about obedience thanks to the leadership of the Holy Spirit. I am am rejoicing today with the words of David found in 2 Samuel 22:21-25,

“God made my life complete when I placed all the pieces before him. When I cleaned up my act, he gave me a fresh start. Indeed, I’ve kept alert to God’s ways; I haven’t taken God for granted. Every day I review the ways he works, I try not to miss a trick. I feel put back together, and I’m watching my step. God rewrote the text of my life when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes.”

God take my world apart and let me change the world for your glory…

This morning I told the Lord I would love to just sit down with Him face to face and have a conversation with Him.  A conversation about the inner struggles I have that revolve around my hopes, dreams, and desires for life.  The next thought that raced into my mind was, “You are having that conversation now – faith to face.” 

I have had this ”faith to face” thought  all day.  Way too often I want to skip right on past faith and get down to the things in life that are certain.  Look at Jesus directly and hear him speak to me directly.  Skip right past the uncertainty in following Jesus and live in a confidence that I am pleasing Him.

Well, no sooner than I finished praying I picked up Oswald Chambers just to get smacked around one more time by OC.  When will I ever learn? (At least I know my prayer life is right on target with how God is speaking to me).

The nature of the spiritual life is that we are certain in our uncertainty… Certainty is the mark of the commonsense life— gracious uncertainty is the mark of the spiritual life. To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, not knowing what tomorrow may bring. (My Utmost for His Highest, April 29).

With the thoughts of Oswald Chambers lingering in my mind I took a chance and began reading some more of Erwin McManus’ book Wide Awake.  I’m still only able to read this book in small bites…  This is a book that is challenging me to the very core.  Today I finished the chapter “Create”. 

It’s significant that the master didn’t tell the servants what to do when he instructed them to do something with what he gave them.  When they multiplied it, he didn’t quiz them on how they did it.  He just said, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.”  If you are maximizing your capacity, you’re on the way to living your life to the fullest.  To do this, you must not only take responsibility but also risk.  Why did the third servant bury his bag of gold?  He was afraid of his master; he feared he would lose his gold and then be punished.  (174-175).

If you are maximizing your capacity… 

I feel as though I’m not living life to the fullest!  Why? I’m not maximizing my capacity.   I desire to live life beyond the level I am living it right now.  I want to live in breathless expectation of seeing Jesus – yet, do I take time to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, give shelter to the homeless… if I want to see Jesus I must look deeper into the face of humanity and see Him in those I serve.  Am I positioning myself to maximize my capacity?  Or have I positioned myself in a place where my life is so full of other stuff there’s no more room for anything else?

Finally, I’m following Pete Wilson’s blog and Twitter as he maximizes his capacity in India on a mission trip.  If you are not checking in on his updates (or now about Pete), I encourage you to check out what God is doing while he and his team are there.  I have a local pastor-friend who just returned from India as well.  Take a few moments to read how he has been maximizing his capacity.

How do you maximize your capacity?

I never get tired of saying, “Oswald Chambers strikes again!”  Day after day and year after year of reading My Utmost for His Highest never gets old.  Each year that I read it – it’s as if I am reading it for the first time.  It may be because I didn’t “get it” the year before or there is always something new in me that needs a bit of work.  Honestly, it’s a little of both.

Saturday I received a letter from a former student heading to the Czech Republic this summer to be His hands and His feet.  I am so excited and proud of her!  I hear great things all of the time from that group of teens that were in my first youth ministry out of seminary.  Every time I hear another great report about one of them it makes me miss those days from the mid 90′s in New Mexico all the more.  I miss the teens and I miss that season in my life.

I seem to always use that season of my life as the plumb line for everything else.  I know that I shouldn’t.  But for whatever reason I continually look back and wish God used me now like He did then.  Has he changed? No.  So, what happened?  I guess my own personal fears have taken over and overcome my fear of the LORD.

Have I really placed my personal fears before my fear of the LORD?  Paul told Timothy, “Be ready in season and out of season.”  I’m personally torn right now within my life.  Too many times I get afraid of making the wrong choice – again.  I don’t want to make anymore mistakes or to get myself out on a limb to find myself falling back to the ground once again… broken, hurt, or embarrassed that the dream is not to be.  I’m starting to see myself as the one who buried his talent in the sand.

Oh the dreaded words, “If I could only go back…”

This is a new day – with new opportunities.  One thing from the past I must put on everyday is my total reliance on Jesus Christ.  I’ll never forget my first day “on the job’ at FBC.  That walk from my car up the sidewalk to the door of the church seems so long in my memory – when it was probably only 20 steps.  Yet, the whisper I spoke to Jesus I will never forget, “This is all you – I have no idea what awaits me on the other side of this door.”  The fear of the LORD far outweighed my own personal fears that were on the other side of that door.

The fear that I feel today is the result of a much different set of circumstances.  Despite the fear I have today – I wish, hope, and daydream of moments like what I had back then.  I was living “in season” then – preaching the Word the best I knew how – with my life, love, and friendship that God gave me to give.  I’m not serving on staff like that now and I think of doing that again some day.  I do know God wants me to be faithful with the life I have been given in this day that I live.  I’m reminded that no matter where I am in life  – it’s always the season to serve the Lord – to be His hands and his feet.

This is the thought from Saturday’s My Utmost for His Highest that go my wheels to turning on this subject.

If you say you will only be at your best for God, as during those exceptional times, you actually become an intolerable burden on Him. You will never do anything unless God keeps you consciously aware of His inspiration to you at all times. If you make a god out of your best moments, you will find that God will fade out of your life, never to return until you are obedient in the work He has placed closest to you, and until you have learned not to be obsessed with those exceptional moments He has given you. (April 25).

No matter where you find yourself today – this is the season for you to shine with whatever God has given you.  Make the most of every opportunity and life like there is no tomorrow.  Somebody else needs you to live your life the way God has called you to today - be available no matter how you feel – You’ve got a story to tell!

Everyday that we live - each of us have opportunities that come before us to help us grow.  It is what we do with those opportunities that determine to what extent we will be developed.  Do you embrace the challenges and with the fear of the LORD move forward?  Or do you worry and fear the barrier?  As I finished up reading Joshua this weekend, I saw a man who took the most of his opportunity to grow and be developed.  He had a tremendous job taking Israel into the Promised Land and establishing her boundaries.

I wonder how he felt at the moment he knew what his task was going to be?  I wonder if he ever worried or feared the job before him.  Joshua stayed true to God’s leading.  Joshua ends with this challenge to the people of Israel,

“Now fear the LORD and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your forefathers worshiped beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the LORD. But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.” (Joshua 24:14-15, New International Version).

I suspect Joshua’s fear of the LORD far out-weighed the fear of the task before him.  Joshua lived with a proper perspective of his life and his service to the LORD.

If you will remain true to God, God will lead you directly through every barrier and right into the inner chamber of the knowledge of Himself. But you must always be willing to come to the point of giving up your own convictions and traditional beliefs. Don’t ask God to test you. Never declare as Peter did that you are willing to do anything, even “to go . . . both to prison and to death” ( Luke 22:33  ). Abraham did not make any such statement— he simply remained true to God, and God purified his faith.  (Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, April 26).

What is the barrier in your life? 

Whatever the barrier hold fast to the truth you have gained from God.  Fear the LORD way more than the barrier.  Keep your eyes on Jesus – pray without ceasing and allow His Spirit to fully develop you to be the person you are created to be.

Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am. (Philippians 4:13, The Message).