While reading the Bible this morning I have come in contact with a lifestyle that I question if I have ever really known.  “Living in holy awe before This Name glorious and terrible, God, your God…” Deuteronomy 28:59.  What I gained as I have read this chapter is the importance of hearing the voice of God and living in accordance to His commands.

I was once challenged by someone about my desire to follow God.  In an attempt to get me to quit seeking “full-time ministry” he said I needed to, “Quit treating this calling as a hobby.  We would all love to live out our hobbies but that is just not practical.”  He was saying that my “career” choice as a minister was a hobby and that I needed to get a “real job”.  During that time of my life I needed to be living in holy awe of God.  This should have been a challenge to me to ramp up my spritiual life.

No matter what our careers may be – we each have a calling – a standard God wants us to live up to.  That standard is one of obedience lived out in holy awe. 

If you listen obediently to the Voice of God, your God, and heartily obey all his commandments that I command you today, God, your God, will place you on high, high above all the nations of the world. All these blessings will come down on you and spread out beyond you because you have responded to the Voice of God, your God:

   God’s blessing inside the city,
   God’s blessing in the country;
   God’s blessing on your children,
      the crops of your land,
      the young of your livestock,
      the calves of your herds,
      the lambs of your flocks.
   God’s blessing on your basket and bread bowl;
   God’s blessing in your coming in,
   God’s blessing in your going out.

 God will defeat your enemies who attack you. They’ll come at you on one road and run away on seven roads.

 God will order a blessing on your barns and workplaces; he’ll bless you in the land that God, your God, is giving you.

 God will form you as a people holy to him, just as he promised you, if you keep the commandments of God, your God, and live the way he has shown you.  (Deuteronomy 28:1-9, The Message).

As I read in Acts 21:10-16, Paul is warned by those around him not to go to Jerusalem.  Paul’s response, “The issue in Jerusalem is not what they do to me, whether arrest or murder, but what the Master Jesus does through my obedience. Can’t you see that?”  The best place to be living is in the center of obedience to our Lord Jesus… no matter the cost.

I am not so naive to think just because we are obedient in this life that great things will follow… “worldly blessings.”  However, I do believe God’s blessings will follow every act of obedience of living in holy awe of Him.  That’s the bottom line for me and for you.  We are challenged by the Spirit to live a life pleasing to the Father in Christ Jesus. 

I was reading on Prockey’s Page (This is an outstanding post) and read this quote,   

“Everybody wants to be a rock star, but no one wants to learn the chords.It’s hard work to study God’s Word.  To pray for breakthrough.  To do spiritual battle on behalf of those we lead.  To charge forward in faith for the cause of Christ.  To run a church with the highest standard of excellence.“

The person I quoted earlier about my “hobby” may have some truth to it.  I think I’ve been spoiled on many fronts and even in spiritual things I can see where I have sat back and expected God to just provide this, that, or the other thing.  If I want to be a rock star I’m going to have to be disciplined to learn the chords.  If I want to live in the approval of God I must live a disciplined life in service to His Son – Jesus.

The dreams we have for our lives are a possibility.  But they will never become reality without living in holy awe of the Dream Giver.  Living on our knees doing battle through prayer.  We can’t go after the dream God gives us as if it is some weekend hobby.  We must pursue this thing as if our very lives depend on it.

There’s a scene in Fireproof where Caleb Holt (played by Kirk Cameron) is kneeling down on the floor in prayer seeking God’s face to save his marriage… he is fighting for his marriage in prayer.  He finally learns what it really takes to fight for his marriage… he had to be “all-in” in order to fight.

Whatever the dream may be for your life and mine it can be obtained through spiritual battle… living in holy awe.

I am hooked on 24!  I am thrilled that Jack is back!!  I just can’t get enough of the action and suspense that follows the life of Jack Bauer.  I am trying to get Lori hooked.  It’s too much for her to take. 

15 minutes before the show began tonight.  I fell asleep.  I woke up at 30 minutes into the program!  I couldn’t figure out what was going on.  So I called a friend I knew would be watching and I got caught up.  My falling asleep was totally uncalled for!  I can’t forgive myself… could I not stay up just another 15 minutes?

When he came back to his disciples, he found them sound asleep. He said to Peter, “Can’t you stick it out with me a single hour? Stay alert; be in prayer so you don’t wander into temptation without even knowing you’re in danger. There is a part of you that is eager, ready for anything in God. But there’s another part that’s as lazy as an old dog sleeping by the fire.” (Matthew 26:40-41, The Message).

How do you live life?  Do you fly by the seat of your pants?  How much of your life is spent seeking God?  How ready are you for a spiritual battle?   Do you even know when a spiritual battle has begun around your life? 

Stay alert.  Keep watch.  Don’t fall into temptation. 

Prayer, intercession, calling out to God from within the depths our own hearts and souls with groaning that cannot be understood… 

At various times in our lives, our cirumstances often dictate how we pray.  I’m sure when Jonah was first thrown overboard and swallowed up by a giant fish he was relieved and scared all at the same time.  The Lord “provided” the fish for Jonah.  See Jonah 1:17.  I would bet his repentance was in the first several seconds of being eaten alive.  I’m sure the circumstances of the next 3 days and nights dictated a different kind of prayer. 

Jonah 2:2 lets us in to see how Jonah prayed,

He said:
       “In my distress I called to the LORD,
       and he answered me.
       From the depths of the grave ^[a] I called for help,
       and you listened to my cry.

I’m learning I can run from God but I cannot out run Him.  In fact, I don’t even think God tries to chase any of us down.  I am beginning to think that our running from Him actually catches up with us on its own -through our circumstances.  I look at the various times I have run from God and I can see the destruction that has followed.  There have been many times when I decided to do plan B because somewhere down the road I thought plan B would help me accomplish plan A.  WRONG!

In fact, look at Jonah 2:2 one more time.  Jonah prayed, “In my distress…”  The distress he caused himself by not doing what God told him to do in plan A.

The circumstances of a saint’s life are ordained of God. In the life of a saint there is no such thing as chance. God by His providence brings you into circumstances that you can’t understand at all, but the Spirit of God understands. God brings you to places, among people, and into certain conditions to accomplish a definite purpose through the intercession of the Spirit in you. (Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, November 7).

I got up this morning and knew I had to get up and go cry out to Him.  I want answers, I want a word from Him, I want Him to speak to me, and I want Him to deliver me from the circumstances I find myself in today.  Today, I call out to Him out of my distress (the distress I brought on myself).  I remember the words of Jesus in Matthew 6:33, “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”

I have an anticipation of the future - that’s a good thing.  I am calling out to God not so that I can obtain those things but rather so I can know Him.  I’m sure many of us feel the same way with a different set of circumstances.  It’s time to get on our knees and seek the Father.  For some, life has never been better.  For those of you who are experiencing that I ask you to get on your knees and intercede for the many who are in need of seeking God…  the many who are in need of a miracle from God.

I’m reminded of the intro to a song by Jerusalem on the live Album… “I am a warrior, you are a warrior, in the Army of God. Stand up, take your sword, take your shield, and start fighting - don’t sit down.” No matter where you find yourself today:  On dry land living life, in the belly of ship sound asleep (Jonah 1:5), or in the belly of a great fish… it’s time to take your sword, take your shield, and start fighting – PRAY!

Intercessory prayer is a wonderful way to serve others.  Have you ever spent time praying for another person without them knowing about it?  If you have then you know the joy that is associated with the time spent praying for them.  You know of the burden that is carried for someone else… the heavy heart.  You also know how much you begin to think about that person throughout the day.  The care and concern for the other person grows… and you wait on God to be who you believe Him to be in that persons life.

If you do not know what it is like to pray for someone else… commit to praying for someone else… there are circumstances that surface everyday that call us all to our knees – you can touch the world through prayer.

Your part in intercessory prayer is not to agonize over how to intercede, but to use the everyday circumstances and people God puts around you by His providence to bring them before His throne, and to allow the Spirit in you the opportunity to intercede for them. In this way God is going to touch the whole world with His saints. (Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, November 7).

We are living in desperate times.  It seems like finances are a struggle for almost everyone I know.  While driving to work yesterday I saw a tow truck snatching a car from one of the schools I pass.  I know what the tow truck was doing… it was the probably the second re-po of the morning all before 7:40 in the morning. There was already another car up on the flat-bed.

I wonder how that teacher felt last night?  I don’t even know who the car belonged to but I hurt for them.  They are even on my mind this morning.  I pass by a business everyday also… that’s their business – repossessing cars, trucks, and right now there is even a boat in the yard.  The yard is full of vehicles! This is not a time to point a finger… to put people down for their mistakes… but rather a time for all of us to get things right.  I think we are all under a microscope of sorts right now – at least that’s how I feel.  And now is the time to repent of the sins and to walk the path God would have us to walk.

I pray for the person who owns that maroon car.  I pray God helps them in this situation.  I pray for grace and mercy for this person.  I ask God to give them a miracle.

Your intercessions can never be mine, and my intercessions can never be yours, “. . . but the Spirit Himself makes intercession” in each of our lives ( Romans 8:26 ). And without that intercession, the lives of others would be left in poverty and in ruin.  (Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, November 7).

Catalyst… I was there!

Catalyst… It’s still bugging me!

Catalyst…        

I can either run to the Truth and embrace it… or I can run from it.  From all indications there is no running from it.  Total surrender is the only acceptable response.  God is on every street corner.  He is in the midst of every conversation since those two powerful days.  God was there before I got there.  He was waiting.  God was in the invitation for me to go.  God is here with me today.  God is.

This is not about Catalyst.

I have read several blogs from some who have attended Catalyst.  I hear their response.  I hear how God has dealt with them. But I still struggle.  I still cry.  I still sit here looking through my notes.  What is it I can’t let go of?  Why is it God will not let go of me?  (Not that I want Him to).  But He is always there – He is always here.  No matter where I go in my thoughts he is there. 

He was there December 1983.  He changed my life set me a part for Himself.  To lift Him up!  To tell His gospel story.   

I have the house to myself this morning.  I have sat here in silence.  Just sitting.  I dare not go outside and do anything as I have had bronchitis for the past week.  So, I sit… just listening to the silence.  When was the last time you sat in total silence?  Literally the only thing I can hear is the refrigerator and THAT is about to drive me nuts!  God is here. 

This is not about me…

In the silence, I have prayed for friends.  Friends who are sick.  Friends who are serving the Lord at this very moment.  Friends who are surrounded by fear.  Friends who are full of hope and encouragement.  Friends who God is reaching through me.  God has been doing some things I didn’t even know about until day before yesterday…. WOW!  But today – I’ve just sat here.  And so has God.  It took me a bit to notice He was here.  Oh - I was listening for Him but I had some things to deal with in this silence.  In this moment He is here.  He is there with you too.  It could be today or It could be tomorrow but He is there.  Kind of freaky – I know.  But it’s His love.

Is it noisy where you sit? 

Although I have been sitting here in this silence my mind has been filled with the noise that distracts me so much.  Now that I am here… now that He is here… I just want to stay here in this silence.  I have found a bit of peace.  The noise is gone (even the motor of the refrigerator is silent).

It’s all about God… His Son – Jesus…

Have you told anyone lately?  Is the Holy Spirit working through you today?  Or is there too much noise?  You know He will work through you even through all of the noise… don’t let the noise trick you to think otherwise.  Your life is His… let Him use you today… there’s another life waiting for the Truth.  They are looking for it.  They are on the street corner.  They are in the grocery store checkout line.  They are at your work.  They may even be in your church.  They are where you are.  Be abandoned to Him.  Run… go and tell what He has done for you.  Don’t let the moment pass you by.  It’s not about Catalyst… it’s not about me… It’s all about Jesus.  It’s about setting the captive free. 

The world is looking for a revelation
We’re always under their investigation
They look at us to hear we got to say
They can’t see Jesus when we stand in the way
They don’t need no more elevated speeches
We’re keeping Jesus just beyond their reaches
Can’t see the forest for all of the trees
They won’t see Jesus till we fall on our knees

(From, “Lift Him Up”, Petra – Bob Hartman, 1983).

Silence Broken

Kara just broke the silence with a very strange txt message:  “John McCain is at the Cartersville Airport until 1PM” I had to turn on FOX News and break the silence to find out for sure.  It was a scheme of the devil… to get me out into the cool breezy weather.   John McCain is in Albuquerque today!!  Which is ironic  – as I would love to be living in Albuquerque once again!!  Thanks for the diversion Kara.

… the only baggage that you can bring. It’s all you can’t leave behind. (U2, “Walk On” Bono).

I love the opening to the song “Walk On” by U2.  I was listening to it today while burning up some of that cheap fuel I bought last Saturday!!  The words just captivate my heart… it’s a captivity that leads to freedom. 

Think about it:  Love is not easy… yet Paul says it’s the greatest of all gifts. (1 Corinthians 13).  I guess in the context of this verse love is the ONLY baggage you can bring… when a believer in Christ dies the only baggage allowed is love.  Love is the only thing you can’t leave behind.

I realize this song is dedicated to Aung San Suu Kyi.  She is a political prisoner in Myanmar.  As for her faith, she is a Buddhist.  She has been a political prisoner under house arrest because of her fight… dream… of democracy for her country. 

Because of this song I pray for her and people like her.  People who are held captive for what they believe.  It’s people like her who have a quality inside them that bars, prison, and persecution can’t hold. 

That quality is LOVE.  The truest form of this love is a gift given by Jehovah -  The Lord God Almighty.  This love was lived out and expressed in it’s deepest form in a man named Jesus Christ.  The man who came to bring freedom to all men and women who would believe in him.

For God so loved the world – how beautiful are those six words.  I sit here so late at night thinking almost imagining this love – in a way I’ve never known before.  This kind of love gives and gives and gives.  Seventy times seven this love gives… love is not the easy thing / the only baggage you can bring / It’s all you can’t leave behind.

You see – I have this thing.  If you keep up with things here at focus, you will know something of this thing.  I desire peace… not just some mamby pamby passive peace… I’m talking a strong victorious kind of peace.  Peace must be found.  I must not allow the love of God who fills me be tarnished by all of the opposing feelings, thoughts, and attitudes that try to win me over.  I know it’s not the easy thing.   And the fight must be waged on a spiritual level. 

Jesus said, “Take up your cross and follow me.”  Love is not the easy thing.

I know I have posted this song recently.  I hope you will take a moment if you haven’t already to think about the lyrics here.  They are posted below the video…. if you don’t want to watch the video and just listen and read them… think… pray… whatever God leads.  For me they are inspiring and I hope they are for you too.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NiCpjNSOY2I]

And love is not the easy thing
The only baggage that you can bring…
And love is not the easy thing…
The only baggage you can bring
Is all that you can’t leave behind

And if the darkness is to keep us apart
And if the daylight feels like it’s a long way off
And if your glass heart should crack
And for a second you turn back
Oh no, be strong

Walk on, walk on
What you got they can’t steal it
No they can’t even feel it
Walk on, walk on…
Stay safe tonight

You’re packing a suitcase for a place none of us has been
A place that has to be believed to be seen
You could have flown away
A singing bird in an open cage
Who will only fly, only fly for freedom

Walk on, walk on
What you’ve got they can’t deny it
Can’t sell it, or buy it
Walk on, walk on
Stay safe tonight

And I know it aches
And your heart it breaks
And you can only take so much
Walk on, walk on

Home… hard to know what it is if you’ve never had one
Home… I can’t say where it is but I know I’m going home
That’s where the hurt is

I know it aches
How your heart it breaks
And you can only take so much
Walk on, walk on

Leave it behind
You got to leave it behind
All that you fashion
All that you make
All that you build
All that you break
All that you measure
All that you feel
All this you can leave behind
All that you reason
All that you sense
All that you speak
All you dress-up
All that you scheme…

…upon You!

Ever tried to lay down a burden?  Have you ever tried to let something go that was totally tormenting your every thought? 

Monday night this week I went to bed relatively early (before Greta van Susteran was done talking about Tood Palin).  But I was up at 12:55 AM not to return to sleep until 4:30 AM.  During the time I was awake I was trying to pray through this thing… I was trying to lay down my burden.  I finally fell asleep still holding onto a burden I wanted to let go of.

So, what does one do? 

How do you let go of something that you really want to let go of?

I don’t have any answers here.

But an hour or so later I woke up again.  The following is what was running through my mind… through my heart… and has stayed present on my mind the past two days.  These are the words of Darrin McWatters from everybodyduck.  The song:  “Consuming Fear”.

I remember hearing ”Storm” by Lifehouse in the Fall of 2007 when I got the CD. I identified with the song so much.  I got to thinking about “Storm” over the weekend while at my daughter’s ballet performance.  I have often hoped to see her choreograph a dance to this song and see her perform it.  I think many people can relate to the song.

I’m glad the song came to mind.  It captures a lot of how I feel at this time in my life.  I know that to struggle with various situations in life is good for our growing.  I know I have had my share of struggles… as I am sure you have too.  A couple of weeks ago Brad on a Wednesday night with tears in his eyes (not an uncommon occurrence) talked about those with deep wells.  Those wells having been bored out of tremendous hurt, pain, and suffering.  It’s through having these deep wells the greater capacity for others to draw God’s water from.

I have always desired nothing less than being used by God for the benefit of others.  I’m ready for the digging to stop for a bit and let me be used for the benefit of others.  If I could have written one verse in this song it would have been this one:

…I know you didn’t
bring me out here to drown
so why am I 10 feet under and upside down
barely surviving has become my purpose
cause I’m so used to living underneath the surface…

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0d25kA_XknM&feature=related]

how long have I
been in this storm
so overwhelmed by the ocean’s shapeless form
water’s getting harder to tread
with these waves crashing over my head

if I could just see you
everything will be alright
if I’d see you
the darkness will turn to light

and I will walk on water
and you will catch me if I fall
and I will get lost into your eyes
and everything will be alright
and everything is alright

I know you didn’t
bring me out here to drown
so why am I 10 feet under and upside down
barely surviving has become my purpose
cause I’m so used to living underneath the surface

if I could just see you
everything will be alright
if I’d see you
this darkness would turn to light

and I will walk on water
and you will catch me if I fall
and I will get lost into your eyes
I know everything will be alright

and I will walk on water
you will catch me if I fall
and I will get lost into your eyes
I know everything will be alright
I know everything is alright
everything’s alright

Nightswimming deserves a quiet night.
I’m not sure all these people understand.
It’s not like years ago,
The fear of getting caught,
Of recklessness and water.
They cannot see me naked.
These things, they go away,
Replaced by everyday.

I have always liked the song “Nightswimming” by R.E.M.  I have not ever known what it meant.  So if you know please enlighten me.  So why include this verse to a song if I don’t know what it means?  I don’t know.  But it came to mind none-the-less as I read Randy’s comment to To swim or not to swim when he quoted Brad’s Blog, “we ‘are just called along with The Servant to rely upon God despite the dark or pain or whatever.’”  Have you ever noticed that life is nothing but one big blog?

To talk about my situation would be to become vulnerable to someone else.  Although there is a tight inner-circle of people in my life who may hear about it.  Maybe 2 or 3 at the very most.  As the song says, “They cannot see me naked.” 

Nightswimming deserves a quiet night.  As Brad states, “Notice the direction given to those who walk in the dark; they are told to trust in the Lord in the dark, but they are not then promised light.”  It feels as though I am at sea swimming in the dark.  The deeper I go in the ocean of His love the darker the night becomes.  I’m taking on water drowning and giving Him the life that I have been living… trusting Him with it all.  Becoming vulnerable to The Servant.

Tonight I plunge deeper into God’s presence asking Him for mercy.  Asking Him for grace.  Asking Him to light my way.  I know that just because I pray and ask for His help the light switch may not be turned on… but I also know He is with me and there is no fear of getting caught I can and I will be vulnerable to God and look to my Redeemer – for He lives.

I told a friend the other day that I feel like I can quote Disney as good if not better than the Bible.  A situation has come into being this week that is hard for me to deal with.  Finding Nemo came to mind as I was thinking about my situation.  Not only that but it goes with this whole “Ocean” theme too.  God’s working overtime to make the point.  I just hope I get it – SOON!

Do you remember Dori the Blue Fin in Finding Nemo?  Well, there’s this scene when she is talking with Marlin the Clown Fish and she states, “You know what ‘cha got to do when life gets you down?”  She begins to sing her answer, “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming…”

In someways my wife (Lori) reminds me of Dori.  (Hey they rhyme… this is getting scary). I’m sure she will appreciate the comparison.  When I take a hit from life I tend to respond a whole lot like Marlin.  And Lori she responds a lot like Dori… “just keep swimming.”  She always comes back with encouragement and optimism.  Tends to make me sick.  But I must confess she is right.  (I hope she doesn’t read this…) It just takes me awhile to warm up to it.

So… should I swim or drown? I my gosh… I’m so conflicted.

I need to surrender.  Lay down the situation that holds me down and ask God to take control.  I need to quit fighting the current and let God have it all.  I’m tired of swimming against it.

The Law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul.  The statutes of the Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple.  The precepts of the Lord are right, giving joy to the heart.  The commands of the Lord are radiant, giving light to the eyes.  The fear of the Lord is pure, enduring forever.  The ordinances of the Lord are sure and altogether righteous.  They are more precious than gold, than much pure gold; they are sweeter than honey, than honey from the comb. By them is your servant warned; in keeping them there is great reward. (Psalm 19:7-11, NIV).