“Whether it was two days, or a month, or a longer time, that the cloud continued over the tabernacle, abiding there, the people of Israel remained in camp and did not set out, but when it lifted they set out.” (Numbers 9:22).

The people of Israel were led by God with a cloud by day and fire by night. They followed as the Lord led them. It wasn’t without a lot of complaining either. As I read through Numbers, I’m convicted of my own sin of complaining to the Lord and the frustration I have been causing those close to me.

A friend recently told me I needed to do what God has called me to. If I don’t those close to me will suffer from my not being obedient. I’m beginning to see what he was telling me six months ago.

I was visiting a young adult worship service back in the fall. It was an awesome time of worship and teaching. The message was on how to deal with depression. There were 10 points on the outline. Then Dave said, “Number 11, Do what the Lord is telling you to do.”

Have you ever been in a fog so thick you couldn’t drive? Life seems a bit like that right now for me. Sit tight until the fog lifts… And I complain, get angry, and make everyone else miserable.

After I read Numbers 9:22 tonight I began to think that maybe the cloud is not so bad afterall. Maybe life seems cloudy right now because Im not ready to move on. Whatever the reason for this season I embrace it and ask God to forgive me of my complaining.

“The call of God only becomes clear to us as we obey, never as we weigh the pros and cons and try to reason it out… When we hear the call of God it is not for us to dispute with God and arrange to obey him if he will expound the meaning of his call to us.” (Oswald Chambers Devotional Bible, “The Call of God”).

Does your life have what Oswald Chambers calls, “sacred and inexpressible charm about it that is satisfying to Jesus.”?

How does someone’s life bring about that kind of pleasure to Jesus? Chambers would say it is found in, “…continual willingness to “go out” in dependence upon God…”

I’m reading about that kind of faith lived out in the lives if so many found in the book of Genesis. Abraham and Sarah’s lives were a continual “‘go out’ in dependence on God.” I believe there are many people living today with broken dreams because they have chosen not to “go out.”

What keeps us from living in the potential of what God created us for? Why is it that some seem to serve the Lord with reckless abandon? While others shrink back in fear.

Fear is a gripping emotion that takes us into “watch out for myself” thinking. How often do we read in Scripture about someone being spoken to by an angel of the Lord and hear, “Do not be afraid…” Once we lock ourselves in on fear we will not hear anything else. We will not move… we will not walk in faith.

On New Years Eve I was playing a game with my son. He was sitting on the sofa and said, “Daddy when I grow up I want to be just like you.” I’ve thought about those words a lot since then. I’ve thought about our relationship and my desire for him to grow up knowing, loving, and serving Jesus.

I’ve realized these past couple of days that my desire for him is much like the desire Jesus has for me. To live and walk by faith… To “‘go out’ in dependence on God.”

Today as I look to my Heavenly Father I echo the words of my son to Him, “Daddy when I grow up I want to be just like You.”

2010 is here!!

It’s kind of weird saying it. I think this is one of the first years I’ve spent time actually listing out things I want to accomplish. I’ve done New Years Resolutions before… But for the start of this year I spent the past week praying, writing, and thinking about 2010.

What excites you the most about the New Year?

I like the idea of a new beginning. 2009 was a tough year in many ways. I’m praying and hoping this year will see a much brighter future.

How are you kicking off 2010?

I have begun reading through the Bible. The first plan I’m going to do this year is a 90 Day plan. You can find this plan at You Version

I’m praying for a great year and looking forward to talking about it here in 2010.

“My determined purpose is to be my utmost for His highest – my best for His glory.”

Day after day I pray, “God help me with this, give me this opportunity, help me do that.” My struggle is that I can’t seem to get past this prayer. Today’s My Utmost for His Highest shows me that I’m afraid of what Oswald Chambers calls becoming “frost bitten.”

My desire MUST be to please Jesus no matter what it costs or how frost bitten I may become. As a believer and follower of Jesus Christ, I should desire nothing less and nothing more than Jesus – his love.

This love from Jesus compels me to live within the realm of his purpose for life. “I must learn that the purpose of my life belongs to God, not me. God is using me from His great personal perspective, and all He asks of me is that I trust Him… He can crush me, exalt me, or do anything else He chooses. He simply asks me to have absolute faith in Him and His goodness. (My Utmost for His Highest, November 10).

I MUST trust and walk by faith.

I’m watching the Tour de France and am amazed at the strength of the riders.  I am blown away at the thought of how much training these guys have gone through in order to ride their bicycles the distance and at the pace that they will go over the next several weeks.

It’s remarkable that Lance Armstrong is making a comeback after being out for 4 years at age 37.  Not to mention he has already won the Tour 7 times after his fight with cancer.  He is in 3rd place now after the 3rd stage.  Amazing!

I think about the training that I must go through as a Christian in order to live the life Christ has placed before me.  As I see these well conditioned cyclists, I ask myself, “Is my spiritual life as well conditioned as these guys are physically?”  Paul exhorts us, “Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.” (1 Corinthians 9:24).

Are you running the course of your life to win?  Are you conditioned in such a way you will finish strong?  Do you have someone who is running with you to push the limits of your faith?  Are you on a team (a part of a small group) that will help you get to the finish line?  None of us can finish this life on our own.  We need each other if we are going to live and finish strong.

Thank God that He does give us difficult things to do! His salvation is a joyous thing, but it is also something that requires bravery, courage, and holiness. It tests us for all we are worth. (Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, July 7).

It’s the end of one of those weeks I would much rather forget.  I couldn’t wait to get to this day… FRIDAY!!!  It’s way too easy to get lost in a terrible, no good, rotten week.  It’s been one of those week were you begin to think, “I don’t think things could get worse!”  Then I catch myself and remember Job… I don’t want to go there. 

No matter what sort of week you may have had – I think Oswald Chambers sums it up nicely.

Remember that you have been saved so that the life of Jesus may be manifested in your body (see 2 Corinthians 4:10  ). Direct the total energy of your powers so that you may achieve everything your election as a child of God provides; rise every time to whatever occasion may come your way. (Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, May 15).

I haven’t asked the question in awhile:  How are you doing with your Read through the Bible for 2009?  Are you on task with your goal for the year?  Have you begun to develop a healthy habit in reading the Bible?  I hope so!

The past several weeks have been tough for me.  My routine and schedule has been turned upside down.  I have been feeling a bit guilty for not staying on track with where I wanted to be.  Everyday I think, “I need to read the Bible.” 

Has reading the Bible become all about checking a box?  Or is reading the Bible drawing us closer and deeper in a relationship with Jesus? 

Of course, Oswald Chambers would have something to say on this!

Your god may be your little Christian habit— the habit of prayer or Bible reading at certain times of your day. Watch how your Father will upset your schedule if you begin to worship your habit instead of what the habit symbolizes. (My Utmost for His Highest, May 12).

This was a great reality check for me.  Reading God’s Word should never be about getting through it – like some book.  God’s Word is His voice to us…  Providing truth, life, freedom, and correction.  The focus of our everyday reading should never be about just being able to say, “I read the Bible for the day.”  It needs to be about, “What does God want to say to me today?”

As you continue reading through the Bible this year, make sure you are spending time to draw closer to Him as you read.  Don’t trade God in for the Christian habit (god).

Love means that there are no visible habits— that your habits are so immersed in the Lord that you practice them without realizing it. (My Utmost for His Highest, May 12).

Have you ever ridden the log ride at Six Flags or at some other park? 

Lately my life has seemed much like I am riding a log ride (just not as fun).  My life is in motion bumping up against the parameters (or shall I say the principles) of life.  All the while, I know there is a destination out there that I will arrive at.  As Oswald Chambers puts it, I’m living my life based on principles rather than vision.

There is a difference between holding on to a principle and having a vision. A principle does not come from moral inspiration, but a vision does.

Our own idealistic principles may actually lull us into ruin. Examine yourself spiritually to see if you have vision, or only principles. (My Utmost for His Highest, May 9).

How do you live your life?  Do you get up everyday and hop onto the log ride of the expected routine in life or do you live it a bit more dangerously with a spiritual vision?  I know it seems like I have settled into the log ride and today am being challenged to get off of the ride and jump into a raft and conquor an uncharted river.  The Holy Spirit will be the guide and he will provide the vision.

Many years ago I went white water rafting on the Ocoee River in Tennessee.  I was nervous and stressed the entire time.  The water was freezing, the rapids were rough, and I had to trust the guide.  At times, I even got angry with the guide because I thought he was intentionally sending us through rougher water when it wasn’t necessary.

I realize in life I do the same thing.  At times, I get upset and angry with where this course is taking me.  I want to point a finger at the Holy Spirit and say, “Why didn’t you tell me to dig earlier?”  I’m quick to forget that He is teaching me as I go.  He allows the rough waters in my life and I need to learn from them. 

I have come to know when He is telling me to do something.  I have learned His voice.  But I haven’t overcome my fear of taking risks in following Him.  I like the log ride.  I know what I will experience in the log.  As for the the raft, there’s a risk and I will have to trust the Guide.

Have you lost the excitement for living?  Your job? Ministry? Family?  Read Proverbs 29:18,

  If people can’t see what God is doing,
   they stumble all over themselves;
But when they attend to what he reveals,
   they are most blessed. (The Message)

I know the following quote is from a message on marriage.  But it is applicable to any aspect of life that pertains to personal passion.  Job. Family. Ministry.  Whatever!  We all get involved in doing something based on how it makes us feel but to keep it going and alive there must be a plan… a vision.  It’s the plan that will keep you moving forward.

“Falling in love requires a pulse, staying in love requires a plan.” (Andy Stanley).

Are you following the vision for your life?  Or have you decided to remain comfortable with where you are?

This morning I told the Lord I would love to just sit down with Him face to face and have a conversation with Him.  A conversation about the inner struggles I have that revolve around my hopes, dreams, and desires for life.  The next thought that raced into my mind was, “You are having that conversation now – faith to face.” 

I have had this ”faith to face” thought  all day.  Way too often I want to skip right on past faith and get down to the things in life that are certain.  Look at Jesus directly and hear him speak to me directly.  Skip right past the uncertainty in following Jesus and live in a confidence that I am pleasing Him.

Well, no sooner than I finished praying I picked up Oswald Chambers just to get smacked around one more time by OC.  When will I ever learn? (At least I know my prayer life is right on target with how God is speaking to me).

The nature of the spiritual life is that we are certain in our uncertainty… Certainty is the mark of the commonsense life— gracious uncertainty is the mark of the spiritual life. To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, not knowing what tomorrow may bring. (My Utmost for His Highest, April 29).

With the thoughts of Oswald Chambers lingering in my mind I took a chance and began reading some more of Erwin McManus’ book Wide Awake.  I’m still only able to read this book in small bites…  This is a book that is challenging me to the very core.  Today I finished the chapter “Create”. 

It’s significant that the master didn’t tell the servants what to do when he instructed them to do something with what he gave them.  When they multiplied it, he didn’t quiz them on how they did it.  He just said, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.”  If you are maximizing your capacity, you’re on the way to living your life to the fullest.  To do this, you must not only take responsibility but also risk.  Why did the third servant bury his bag of gold?  He was afraid of his master; he feared he would lose his gold and then be punished.  (174-175).

If you are maximizing your capacity… 

I feel as though I’m not living life to the fullest!  Why? I’m not maximizing my capacity.   I desire to live life beyond the level I am living it right now.  I want to live in breathless expectation of seeing Jesus – yet, do I take time to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, give shelter to the homeless… if I want to see Jesus I must look deeper into the face of humanity and see Him in those I serve.  Am I positioning myself to maximize my capacity?  Or have I positioned myself in a place where my life is so full of other stuff there’s no more room for anything else?

Finally, I’m following Pete Wilson’s blog and Twitter as he maximizes his capacity in India on a mission trip.  If you are not checking in on his updates (or now about Pete), I encourage you to check out what God is doing while he and his team are there.  I have a local pastor-friend who just returned from India as well.  Take a few moments to read how he has been maximizing his capacity.

How do you maximize your capacity?

I never get tired of saying, “Oswald Chambers strikes again!”  Day after day and year after year of reading My Utmost for His Highest never gets old.  Each year that I read it – it’s as if I am reading it for the first time.  It may be because I didn’t “get it” the year before or there is always something new in me that needs a bit of work.  Honestly, it’s a little of both.

Saturday I received a letter from a former student heading to the Czech Republic this summer to be His hands and His feet.  I am so excited and proud of her!  I hear great things all of the time from that group of teens that were in my first youth ministry out of seminary.  Every time I hear another great report about one of them it makes me miss those days from the mid 90’s in New Mexico all the more.  I miss the teens and I miss that season in my life.

I seem to always use that season of my life as the plumb line for everything else.  I know that I shouldn’t.  But for whatever reason I continually look back and wish God used me now like He did then.  Has he changed? No.  So, what happened?  I guess my own personal fears have taken over and overcome my fear of the LORD.

Have I really placed my personal fears before my fear of the LORD?  Paul told Timothy, “Be ready in season and out of season.”  I’m personally torn right now within my life.  Too many times I get afraid of making the wrong choice – again.  I don’t want to make anymore mistakes or to get myself out on a limb to find myself falling back to the ground once again… broken, hurt, or embarrassed that the dream is not to be.  I’m starting to see myself as the one who buried his talent in the sand.

Oh the dreaded words, “If I could only go back…”

This is a new day – with new opportunities.  One thing from the past I must put on everyday is my total reliance on Jesus Christ.  I’ll never forget my first day “on the job’ at FBC.  That walk from my car up the sidewalk to the door of the church seems so long in my memory – when it was probably only 20 steps.  Yet, the whisper I spoke to Jesus I will never forget, “This is all you – I have no idea what awaits me on the other side of this door.”  The fear of the LORD far outweighed my own personal fears that were on the other side of that door.

The fear that I feel today is the result of a much different set of circumstances.  Despite the fear I have today – I wish, hope, and daydream of moments like what I had back then.  I was living “in season” then – preaching the Word the best I knew how – with my life, love, and friendship that God gave me to give.  I’m not serving on staff like that now and I think of doing that again some day.  I do know God wants me to be faithful with the life I have been given in this day that I live.  I’m reminded that no matter where I am in life  – it’s always the season to serve the Lord – to be His hands and his feet.

This is the thought from Saturday’s My Utmost for His Highest that go my wheels to turning on this subject.

If you say you will only be at your best for God, as during those exceptional times, you actually become an intolerable burden on Him. You will never do anything unless God keeps you consciously aware of His inspiration to you at all times. If you make a god out of your best moments, you will find that God will fade out of your life, never to return until you are obedient in the work He has placed closest to you, and until you have learned not to be obsessed with those exceptional moments He has given you. (April 25).

No matter where you find yourself today – this is the season for you to shine with whatever God has given you.  Make the most of every opportunity and life like there is no tomorrow.  Somebody else needs you to live your life the way God has called you to today - be available no matter how you feel – You’ve got a story to tell!