At 1:30 this morning, I decided as a part of my focus for June I would read through the book of Mark. It’s been too easy for me this past week to keep my eyes on me… the fear, anxiety, and worries that I face right now. In light of my early morning blog, God wants me to give it all away.
We would much rather work for God than believe in Him. Do I really believe that God will do in me what I cannot do? (My Utmost for His Highest, June 1)
I struggle with real surrender. To really give it all away. For some reason I find comfort in holding on to my fears… but is that really comfort? Of course not. It’s lack of faith and trust in Jesus to be my All in all. That’s one of my weaknesses. This is an area of vulnerability for me… I want to trust. I want to believe. I want to live in freedom not in bondage to my fears.
I was helping Walker ride his bike the other day. He still rides with training wheels. But the fear of losing control is real strong for him. I try to encourage him by letting him know I am there to help him… to keep him safe. He needs to learn to trust that with those training wheels he can do it.
There will come a time when the wheels will come off and he will be able to trust what he has come to learn. Right now he needs my help but there will be a day soon when he will learn to do this without my help and the two of us will move onto something else where he will look to me for guidance. And the lesson of trust and faith will be taught and learned on a deeper level.
I guess this lesson grows each passing year of life. Life is a test and life is a trust. The only way to pass the test is to trust.
Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed– that exhilarating finish in and with God – he could put up with anything along the way: cross, shame, whatever. And now he’s there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!” (Hebrews 12:2-3, The Message).