I’m not sure how to say what’s really on my mind. The words just can’t be found. I want to count for God more than anything else in life. I know if I do count for God then all aspects of my life will in essence be taken care of. That’s not to say tough days will not be had. I know all to well that troubles come when in the midst of “doing” God’s plan.
I’ve heard it said, “The safest place to be is in the center of God’s will.” Being in the center of God’s will just may be the most dangerous place to be. Stephen comes to mind from the book of Acts. Hmmm… I don’t think having rocks thrown at me is a very safe place to be – until death. In the midst of the stoning Stephen looked up and saw the Lord standing… I’ve often thought in honor of Stephen.
But that’s just it… not the stoning – but rather – His plan. That’s what is on my mind – I just can’t figure out how to talk about it. So I sit… at a loss for words. I sit in silence awaiting a word from Him. Enjoying his presence in the silence… knowing that He is here. And I’m really in the midst of His plan after-all. Seeking Him.
In My Utmost for His Highest, Oswald Chambers states,
The call of God is like the call of the sea – no one hears it except the person who has the nature of the sea in him. (August 5)
I guess that’s why we choose to do what it is we do. Because we hear the call from God and we respond.
The question I have is – “Why is it so hard to hear God at times? Especially when it comes to “calling”. And why is it we (I) put so much emphasis on vocation and calling? At times, I have difficulty separating the two. Should they be separated?
I know what I want to do. It is a risky venture… the riskiest of all the things I have pursued in ministry. I’ve begun to make some steps in this direction – once again. I’m open to God’s leadership to steer me elsewhere… until then (if “then” ever happens) I will pursue this. The road to get me ready starts now and is at best a year out before the next phase. There is much that I need to set me on the road. I’m praying God will help me in a miraculous way. I’m praying that my family will know this is His plan.
Lord, hear my heart, “Here am I, send me!”