Does Jesus rule your thoughts, actions, and attitudes? Or does something or someone else take control?

I have been writing in my journal about purpose and God’s plan. How God chooses people to serve Him… and the purposes of that service.

So often I will get into this place where the voice I hear is saying, “You are disqualified.” Then I try to fight off the voice be telling myself to remember King David… nothing he did disqualified him from being God’s man.

I get so strongly frustrated with life way too much. I find it hard not to allow this frustration to rule everything around me and in me.

You have had the vision, but you are not yet to the reality of it by any means. It is when we are in the valley, where we prove whether we will be the choice ones, that most of us turn back. We are not quite prepared for the bumps and bruises that must come if we are going to be turned into the shape of the vision. We have seen what we are not, and what God wants us to be, but are we willing to be battered into the shape of the vision to be used by God? The beatings will always come in the most common, everyday ways and through common, everyday people. (My Utmost for His Highest, October 4).

So as an individual I have a choice to make. Will I give Jesus the throne of my heart? Or will I give my frustrated thoughts of disqualification the throne? Do I continue to give the grumblings of my heart the throne? It’s all just jealousy and anger… I don’t see this person or that person go through what I go through… I ask God, “Why am I singled out to walk this path?” “Do I have the power to make things different?” “Did I miss something along the way only to end up in this place?” “Is that why this brother or that one hasn’t walked my road?” (I pray they never do!) “Have I missed something along the way?” “Have I lacked wisdom?” “Do I control my own destiny or has God led me down this path?”

Oswald Chambers goes on to say, “There are times when we do know what God’s purpose is; whether we will let the vision be turned into actual character depends on us not on God.” (My Utmost for His Highest, October 4).

I am weaving my thoughts out here and turn the electronic pages over to Brad’s blog, “Do I offend you?” The loneliest place of all would be John the Baptist sitting in a prison cell asking my questions. Now I hear Jesus ask me, “Do I offend you?”