It’s not about me

I normally don’t title my posts until after I write.  This one is a bit different.  “It’s not about me.”  Unfortunately, I have made my life about me.  For several years I have listened to the silence.  I’ve strained just to hear a little glimpse of the breath of God…  Something.  On Monday, of this week, I prayed for my ears to hear God.  In some way, I desperately wanted to hear Him.  I have become so tired of the silence.  In the midst of the silence, I have also become silent and have kept His Word to myself.

He answered my prayer on Monday.  I heard Him through several individuals.  It came in the form of a txt message, a phone conversation, a conversation at work, a sermon on the radio, as well as a few emails I received.  It was absolutely amazing.  I was so encouraged by several who had no idea they were each being used to answer a prayer.

While in a meeting tonight I had hoped to hear from God.  I want to be actively engaged in ministry in some capacity.  But for some reason I can’t get past… me.  As we closed the meeting tonight the pastor prayed.  While he was praying I came to realize something…  I realized I have made my quest to know God more into something that was about me and less about Him.

While he prayed I pictured this well that is full of water that hasn’t been used in a long time. With the wells lack of use it has become unhealthy to drink from.  It is a well that was initially dug out in order to give water and sustain life for others.  I am that well and I have been keeping His story to myself.  I’ve become consumed with what others may think of me… Yet, my whole life as a Christian I’ve wanted to be an open book that anyone could read and discover Jesus in the process.  But something has come to bring fear into my life – a fear of stepping out… I’ve become the well that came to mind while my pastor prayed tonight.

My prayer now is to tell my story… the one that has Jesus at the center… the story that gives life.  I want the well He has born out in my life to be filled and renewed by His Spirit.  I don’t want to live any longer as a Casual Christian.  As I pulled away from Starbucks tonight an old album came to mind by Degarmo and Key… the song, “Casual Christian”.  I don’t want to be a Casual Christian…

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