This is all way over my head.
I need to hear You.
You are the light that leads me.
Yet I wonder, “Where do I find peace?”
Jesus is the strength that keeps me walking.
Yet, I find it hard to trust.
Seeking His purpose.
The storms of life want let me rest.
The quest for peace becomes more desperate and allusive.
Yet He takes me in and takes me deeper into His Word.
Breaking through a fading concentration.
It’s in His Word that I come to a place of being able to see a place that can’t be seen without His Spirit revealing. Psalm 139:13, “You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb.” As many times as I have read this my mind has stopped with the creation of the organs within my body. The miracle of blood flowing through the body sustaining life to the entire body.
But today I thought about something else. The creation within that can’t be seen or touched. A place that can’t be operated on by human hands. I’m referring to the personality, the interests, the likes and dislikes…. purpose. He knit it all before we were ever delivered. For me that was interesting thought today. Made me question, “What in the world am I doing with that aspect of my life?” There is so much more to life than just living… heart beating, blood flowing, and lungs taking in oxygen, etc.
Visiting a third world country in the name of Jesus can leave you speechless. Yet, full of questions about life and your place in this world. That’s what it did for me. The first morning back home I arose early and began to fill my pot with water (like I do every morning) so I could boil three eggs for breakfast. Before I could get the eggs in the pot, I wept and said, “They aren’t doing this this morning… at least the way I am able to.” Then I thought about the young Christian men I had the amazing pleasure of meeting. I thought they have a deeper understanding of Jesus in their country than I do of Jesus in my country. Their vantage point of seeing Jesus is so much different than mine.
The need is great in the land I had the pleasure of walking, praying, pondering life and purpose. They probably don’t remember me but I can’t shake their faces from my mind. I don’t want to lose sight of those I came to love in just a few short days. I don’t know what God wants to do with all that I have experienced. I do know He doesn’t want me to waste it.
Jesus, thank you for making sure I was there. Craig, thank you for sharing with us worship, heart, love, discipleship, obedience, courage, faith, Jesus! I can’t thank my church family, known as CFBC, for giving me the opportunity to have this experience.
As Matt Redman so beautifully wrote, “I’m coming back to the heart of worship.”