Blocking out the noise in silence…

Catalyst… I was there!

Catalyst… It’s still bugging me!

Catalyst…        

I can either run to the Truth and embrace it… or I can run from it.  From all indications there is no running from it.  Total surrender is the only acceptable response.  God is on every street corner.  He is in the midst of every conversation since those two powerful days.  God was there before I got there.  He was waiting.  God was in the invitation for me to go.  God is here with me today.  God is.

This is not about Catalyst.

I have read several blogs from some who have attended Catalyst.  I hear their response.  I hear how God has dealt with them. But I still struggle.  I still cry.  I still sit here looking through my notes.  What is it I can’t let go of?  Why is it God will not let go of me?  (Not that I want Him to).  But He is always there – He is always here.  No matter where I go in my thoughts he is there. 

He was there December 1983.  He changed my life set me a part for Himself.  To lift Him up!  To tell His gospel story.   

I have the house to myself this morning.  I have sat here in silence.  Just sitting.  I dare not go outside and do anything as I have had bronchitis for the past week.  So, I sit… just listening to the silence.  When was the last time you sat in total silence?  Literally the only thing I can hear is the refrigerator and THAT is about to drive me nuts!  God is here. 

This is not about me…

In the silence, I have prayed for friends.  Friends who are sick.  Friends who are serving the Lord at this very moment.  Friends who are surrounded by fear.  Friends who are full of hope and encouragement.  Friends who God is reaching through me.  God has been doing some things I didn’t even know about until day before yesterday…. WOW!  But today – I’ve just sat here.  And so has God.  It took me a bit to notice He was here.  Oh – I was listening for Him but I had some things to deal with in this silence.  In this moment He is here.  He is there with you too.  It could be today or It could be tomorrow but He is there.  Kind of freaky – I know.  But it’s His love.

Is it noisy where you sit? 

Although I have been sitting here in this silence my mind has been filled with the noise that distracts me so much.  Now that I am here… now that He is here… I just want to stay here in this silence.  I have found a bit of peace.  The noise is gone (even the motor of the refrigerator is silent).

It’s all about God… His Son – Jesus…

Have you told anyone lately?  Is the Holy Spirit working through you today?  Or is there too much noise?  You know He will work through you even through all of the noise… don’t let the noise trick you to think otherwise.  Your life is His… let Him use you today… there’s another life waiting for the Truth.  They are looking for it.  They are on the street corner.  They are in the grocery store checkout line.  They are at your work.  They may even be in your church.  They are where you are.  Be abandoned to Him.  Run… go and tell what He has done for you.  Don’t let the moment pass you by.  It’s not about Catalyst… it’s not about me… It’s all about Jesus.  It’s about setting the captive free. 

The world is looking for a revelation
We’re always under their investigation
They look at us to hear we got to say
They can’t see Jesus when we stand in the way
They don’t need no more elevated speeches
We’re keeping Jesus just beyond their reaches
Can’t see the forest for all of the trees
They won’t see Jesus till we fall on our knees

(From, “Lift Him Up”, Petra – Bob Hartman, 1983).

Silence Broken

Kara just broke the silence with a very strange txt message:  “John McCain is at the Cartersville Airport until 1PM” I had to turn on FOX News and break the silence to find out for sure.  It was a scheme of the devil… to get me out into the cool breezy weather.   John McCain is in Albuquerque today!!  Which is ironic  – as I would love to be living in Albuquerque once again!!  Thanks for the diversion Kara. 🙂

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Unfinished Business

During the lunch break on Thursday I was standing there and Tim said something to me like this, “Are you OK?  You look like you are in deep thought or something is bothering you…” 

I was OK.  I think I was stunned after that first message.  Andy Stanley talked about 3 specific things and how they relate to doing ministry.  They are:  Forgiveness, Family, and Finances.  God really got my attention right off the bat.

Just moments prior to Stanley’s talk I had a conversation about forgivenss.  Then to hear Stanley talk about it I was dumb-founded.  I was in shock… it was as if he had just read my mail… like he had been listening in on my conversation… this was such a God moment for me.  Literally I thought I was the only one in the room.  The element of Finances was the other key point to this power-packed threesome of points. As a family, we have made some decisions on this as well.

The mess was cleaned up with each message I heard afterward. Now that I am home I am trying to figure out what the purpose of all this was.  I think I know.  I am still praying through it.  I want to do what thus says the LORD.  I am making sure I’m not chasing after something Roye wants to do.

So I am back to making another decision.  I know Joel would have you think the decision still centers on whether I should wear Boxers or Briefs.  (If you need more info on this click here… then read the comments).

It’s kind of an exciting moment… not the choice of boxer or briefs.  That decision has been already made.

So, while we are on the subject I think I will try out this new feature here on wordpress…

Praying with the right heart

I wonder how many hours of prayer has been spent wasted because my heart was not right.  But I argue what I am praying for is good… great… with great purpose for God and others. But silence is all that is heard.  In my mind, God is witholding the answer(s) or perceived blessing(s).  All the while, I am ignoring this “thing” that is unresolved. 

This past week I made a step to make this “thing” right.  I can’t express the peace that flooded me because I did what was right.  I know this is the first step of several I must make.  The exciting thing is I’m on the right road.

It’s so easy to lay out before God our list of things we need and want.  God desires we come to Him but He also wants us to come to Him having done our part of making right the wrong things we have committed against others. 

Jesus said in Matthew 5:23-24,

    23 So if when you are offering your gift at the altar you there remember that your brother has any [grievance] against you,

    24 Leave your gift at the altar and go. First make peace with your brother, and then come back and present your gift. (Amplified Bible).

There is so much on my plate these days.  I’m very reluctant to say anything about any of it… and will not.  Yet I know God is in the middle of it all.  He’s drawing out of me gold refined by fire. Not that I may obtain gold but rather a pure faith.

God has provided much comfort to me as I have been reading Isaiah 41.  I know when things are all said and done God will be victorious and He will be glorified. 

“Count on it: Everyone who had it in for you
   will end up out in the cold—
   real losers.
Those who worked against you
   will end up empty-handed—
   nothing to show for their lives.
When you go out looking for your old adversaries
   you won’t find them—
Not a trace of your old enemies,
   not even a memory.
That’s right. Because I, your God,
   have a firm grip on you and I’m not letting go.
I’m telling you, ‘Don’t panic.
   I’m right here to help you.’  (Isaiah 41:11-13, The Message).

I’m thankful for the comfort God’s Word gives.  In prayer, I must not grow weary and lose heart. 

I’m asking the Lord to shine His light on me… and in me… that if there be any unclean thing that it may be dealt with. 

I desire to walk upright before God and man.  I look to Him for my salvation.

Lost for words

Being…

That’s where I want to be.  I want to be in the Lord’s presence and get lost in Him. 

It’s in the mid to upper 90’s here.  My air conditioner in my Jeep still doesn’t work.  So where did I spend my lunch hour?  I spent it in the park today.  I know this is gross to some of you but I was soaking with sweat when I went back to my office.  I didn’t do anything at the park.  I just sat and asked the Lord to sit with me.  To surround me with Himself. 

I love getting away by myself.  I think I enjoy that more than anything else I do.  Well, I may be alone but I’m never really alone.  He is always there with me. 

God. 

He is and always will be… God.  The Creator of heaven and earth… the Creator of you and me – He will always be.  I love to be with Him.  Being.

It’s in moments like these it’s good to be at a loss for words.  I’m sure He never tires of hearing us talk to Him.  But I bet He loves it when we stop, sit, and be quiet – allowing Him to be there with us just being.

I’m having surgery

I’m having surgery on my heart… not physically but rather spiritually.

How does one know if one is living in the sin of “unbelief”?  “He did not do many mighty works there because of their unbelief” ( Matthew 13:58 ).

If Jesus could not do miracles in the presence of those with unbelief…

  • Is this why we do not see the supernatural at work in and around our lives? 
  • Is this why we seem to not be able to hear the Lord in times of searching for direction? 
  • Is it that we suffer from the sin of unbelief?
  • Is this why vision is hard to discern?

This is why I pray, “Lord I believe but help me with my unbelief.”  See Mark 9:24.

I’m revisiting so many days recorded in the “Book of Roye”.  Many know of it as my journal.  I am going back and pulling CD’s and listening to songs God used to speak to me.  I’m trying to capture those moments gone by to see how I responded to God’s leadership and direction in my life.  To see if just maybe I’m missing something today.  I’m concerned about my possible “unbelief”.  I ask, “Is that the issue?”  Or is God playing hide and seek with me?

I had surgery earlier this year and my doctor decided to try something with me… exploring to see if it would work.  It was successful.  He thought I was a good case due to my high tolerance for pain.  Is God exploring with me in this same manner… testing my tolerance for pain?” 

How do I (or any of us) respond to Chambers devotional today?

If we really believed that God meant what He said, just imagine what we would be like! Do I really dare to let God be to me all that He says He will be?

So, in this sense I’m having surgery.  It is exploratory surgery at best.  Exploring myself from the outside in and finding out it’s me again.  Dealing with the same issue…

Lord, I believe – but help me with my unbelief.

If you can’t sleep at night…

I haven’t been sleeping too good lately.  I don’t have problems getting to sleep.  But at the strike of 3AM I wake up.  So what do I do at 3 AM?  I walk around a bit… typically eating something.  Last night I watched FOX News as I ate raw chocolate chip cookie dough with a cold glass of milk.  YUM… YUM!!!

I can’t figure out why I am waking up at odd hours of the night.  I was telling Lori about it this morning.  She asked, “What do you do at 3 AM?”  I told her my story.  Lori fired back a response, “Sounds to me like you should be praying!”

Well, she didn’t have to hit me so hard!  She’s right.  I have had several people on my mind to be praying for.  I have also had a desire to be with God and to hear him in the silence.  James (a good friend of mine) recently told me that the best time to pray is between the hours of 2 and 3 AM.

I had forgotten Lori told me that this morning until I read Oswald Chambers a few moments ago.

Then don’t worry anymore about yourself, but begin to do as Jesus Christ has said, in essence, “Pray for the friend who comes to you at midnight, pray for the saints of God, and pray for all men.” My Utmost for His Highest, June 21.

I have had several people on my mind recently who I need to be praying for.  The next time I can’t sleep at night I will be taking the advice of The Warrior and adding them to my cookie dough and milk.

Breaking the Silence Pt 2

I admire anyone who steps up to the plate of faith and LIVES it OUT LOUD.  Today, I have been thinking about the trouble that is often times associated with faith-filled living.  Each one of us has “our” cross to carry.  Sometimes the silence experienced in life is a welcomed retreat… the kind I am longing for this weekend.  Then there are those times of silence when one is walking by faith and in desperate need to hear from God.  That’s the kind of silence none of us likes.those days tend to be some of the lonliest!

While reading this morning, Job 42:10 leaped off the pages:

“When Job prayed for his friends, the Lord restored his fortunes.  In fact, the Lord gave him twice as much as before!”

Again in the pages of the Bible, we discover that life is not about ourselves.  If anyone has a “right” to complain it would be Job – In my humble opinion.  Despite our personal turmoil we are called to pray for and with other people.  “When Job prayed for his friends…”

Our FOCUS must be on the purposes of God and not those “things” we want to be blessed with.  In silence, we must humble ourselves in the sight of the Lord.  Let Him lift us out of our despair.  Anything we do on our own will be just that… on our own!  So in trouble do what you were created to do and don’t give up!  Listen to the words of Paul in 2 Corinthians 4:12 – 18.

12So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.

 13It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken.”[a]With that same spirit of faith we also believe and therefore speak, 14because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you in his presence. 15All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.

 16Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.